Sitting...at the dining room table.
Wishing...it would quit raining. So dreary!
Hoping...my firstborn son has a wonderful birthday today as he marks eighteen years of life! Eighteen! Wow!
Baking...chocolate chip pies per the eighteen year old's request!
Realizing...I usually post something nostalgic to mark these milestone birthdays but it seems to me that the more momentous the occasion and the more blogworthy such an occasion ought to be, the more difficult it is to write about. Weird, huh? Eighteen is certainly one such blogworthy milestone! I think I will post some sort of celebration soon of not only his birthday but also my corresponding advent into motherhood. Surely I can at least post a picture or two, right?
Glancing...through some photographs of the birthday boy's birth day and feeling like I'm caught in some sort of time warp. We look so young and yet it seems like something-substantially-less-than-18 years ago!
Reading...Excellent Women by Barbara Pym and The World Tilting Gospel by Dan Phillips. Enjoying both very much. I love charming British novels and I love the gospel so it's win-win on both counts!
Enjoying...the second season of "Downton Abbey" on PBS's Masterpiece Theater. I loved the first season too. As you know, I'm a big fan of all things Masterpiece, Downton especially. Anyone else?
Thinking...about controversies and conflicts and criticism and confrontation and how each ought to be handled, particularly between friends, especially those of the virtual variety. Is one's responsibility different when your friendship is "only" via blogs and twitter? Hmmmmm... I once found myself, quite innocently and quite by accident, in the middle of one such bloggy maelstrom and as a total newbie blogger was both shocked and hurt by the vindictiveness of the "conversation." Some of you have no idea of what I'm talking about so let me just say: bloggers can be an opinionated bunch!
Looking...forward to Bible study tomorrow! Last week was our first session and it was great. May the Lord use this study to encourage us and stretch us and challenge us and, ultimately, finally, change us--glory to His name! A brief stress out moment earlier this week notwithstanding, I am really excited (it's good to feel wholly and completely inadequate, no?). I am so thankful for my friends and fellow students and I pray the Lord will richly bless the study of His Word; He is faithful!
Heading...out into the rainy dreariness as soon as I complete this post.
Happy February, friends!
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
Friday's Fave Five
It's Friday which means Susanne is hosting her weekly carnival of five favorites of the past week. In no particular order, here are five favorites I enjoyed this week, among many others!
1. A visit from my parents. We don't see them nearly as often as we'd like so I am always glad for their visits. Plus, my mom brings goodies like cookies and a coffee cake! This visit they also brought a bench my dad made from reclaimed wood. They are so good to us!
2. A county championship title for my son's basketball team. They won the tournament championship game in decisive fashion Saturday night, ahead something like 43-9 at the half. I like the close, intense games but I also like a big blow out every now and then! It was a great win!
3. Sharing the work of the crisis pregnancy center with a "sister" church here in our community. We are in the middle of our baby bottle fundraiser where participants fill a given baby bottle with change and other monies (and checks!). I was asked to not only distribute the bottles but to speak for a few minutes about our ministry in each service at this particular church. We at the center are so grateful for the support of area churches who help us both with financial and material resources as well as prayer support.
4. Skype. I think I told you about both chatting with Leslie (for an hour!) one day earlier this week and then about her sitting in on Bible study, all via the internet. How cool is that? Not to mention so very Jetson-y.
5. Bible study resuming this week. We had a great meeting Thursday and I'm looking forward to the iron-sharpening-iron fellowship that will take place in the coming weeks. The Lord is faithful!
What are your favorites from the past week?
Thursday, January 26, 2012
The hope of Christ's return
This morning I began facilitating a study on 1 & 2 Thessalonians. I was (am) both excited and nervous as I think on the joy I receive from studying God's Word with friends and fellow sojourners as well as the humble and sober responsibility of leading such a group. And, always, after a hiatus, the teacher's chair is more than a little intimidating, adding to the aforementioned sober humility.
But despite a dark and rainy morning we gathered here in my living room: six friends, me, and my friend Leslie via Skype (how COOL is that?). We introduced ourselves, we discussed goals and motivations for our study, and we looked at the background and major theme of Paul's letters to the church in Thessalonica.
Both letters focus rather heavily on the hope of Christ's return. I shared with the group my experience as a young girl coming home from church after a revival meeting fully convinced that Jesus' return was imminent. Like soon. As in that very night. I was not comforted. In fact, as I sat in front of the window in my room watching the night sky, expecting the trumpet to sound and the skies to part at any minute, I was not only terrified, I was sad as I wistfully enumerated all that I would miss at the end of the world as we knew it. A boyfriend, prom, a wedding--the loss of these girlish delights consumed my dread. I didn't want Jesus to return, not at all, and I was ashamed. And scared.
We chuckle at those sorts of immature fears, but aren't we just the same? At the close of our study today we briefly discussed prevailing reactions to the thought of the end of the world. I'd daresay not many of us think of it much at all, Christian nor non-Christian, and if we do we either laugh it off or, much as I did as a girl, hope it's not any time soon because, well, we have things to do and to experience and to buy and to enjoy.
And yet the Bible tells us we are to live in light of this reality: Christ will return and take the redeemed with Him to glory. Paul will clearly assert that as believers this hope ought to motivate and encourage our day to day lives. How? What is the balance between my hope of what will come and my work I must do today? How can I be both heavenly minded and of earthly good?
These are the sorts of questions we will wrestle with as we devote ourselves to the diligent study of God's Word.
I'm looking forward to it!
But despite a dark and rainy morning we gathered here in my living room: six friends, me, and my friend Leslie via Skype (how COOL is that?). We introduced ourselves, we discussed goals and motivations for our study, and we looked at the background and major theme of Paul's letters to the church in Thessalonica.
Both letters focus rather heavily on the hope of Christ's return. I shared with the group my experience as a young girl coming home from church after a revival meeting fully convinced that Jesus' return was imminent. Like soon. As in that very night. I was not comforted. In fact, as I sat in front of the window in my room watching the night sky, expecting the trumpet to sound and the skies to part at any minute, I was not only terrified, I was sad as I wistfully enumerated all that I would miss at the end of the world as we knew it. A boyfriend, prom, a wedding--the loss of these girlish delights consumed my dread. I didn't want Jesus to return, not at all, and I was ashamed. And scared.
We chuckle at those sorts of immature fears, but aren't we just the same? At the close of our study today we briefly discussed prevailing reactions to the thought of the end of the world. I'd daresay not many of us think of it much at all, Christian nor non-Christian, and if we do we either laugh it off or, much as I did as a girl, hope it's not any time soon because, well, we have things to do and to experience and to buy and to enjoy.
And yet the Bible tells us we are to live in light of this reality: Christ will return and take the redeemed with Him to glory. Paul will clearly assert that as believers this hope ought to motivate and encourage our day to day lives. How? What is the balance between my hope of what will come and my work I must do today? How can I be both heavenly minded and of earthly good?
These are the sorts of questions we will wrestle with as we devote ourselves to the diligent study of God's Word.
I'm looking forward to it!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
What's On My Nightstand
Here's a look at what I'm reading this month!
RECENTLY FINISHED READING:
The Distant Hours: A Novel by Kate Morton
A sufficiently mysterious and slightly creepy story that kept me so engrossed that I never, no, not once, peeked at the ending, highly unusual for me
Year of Wonders: A Novel of the Plague by Geraldine Brooks
It's about the bubonic plague and as such it is a sad and horrific story but one that I liked. Very much.
CURRENTLY READING:
All the reviews are spot on: this is a timely, well-expressed, engaging albeit challenging look at the gospel and its implications for real life.
Bloodlines: Race, Cross, and the Christian by John Piper
We are reading this as part of my pastor's Wednesday night study and it has provoked some interesting and intense discussion.
Extraordinary, Ordinary People: A Memoir of Family by Condoleezza Rice
I know the title claims ordinariness but I think I must humbly disagree. Condoleezza's accomplishments are anything but ordinary and I'm enjoying this glimpse into her background. Her affection for her parents is obvious as is her gratitude for their many sacrifices on her behalf. I like Condoleezza and I like her all the more as I read her story.
READING NEXT (MAYBE):
Excellent Women by Barbara Pym
I saw this reviewed at Semicolon's blog and I'm intrigued.
To the Last Man: A Novel of the First World War by Jeff Shaara
Maybe it's Downton Abbey (LOVE!!) but my curiosity about the first World War. has been piqued. After reading and loving Michael Shaara's war novel The Killer Angels I'm interested in reading one of his son's novels. And, while I'm delving into WWI fiction, I may also read the classic All Quiet on the Western Front by Eric Remarque.
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
Will I like it? I don't know but, again, I'm interested. I think.
Lit!: A Christian Guide to Reading Books by Tony Reinke
Reading a book about reading books? Why not?
One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp
Still planning to read through this with a couple of other blogging friends.
Growing Up in Grace: The Use of Means for Communion with God by Murray Brett
I received this as part of a giveaway on another blog ages ago and I suppose I'd forgotten all about it until I spotted it on the bookshelf today!
Of course, I reserve the right to change my mind, follow my whim, and read whatsoever I choose as time and books allow! It's the same old conundrum: so many books, so little time (and money).
What are you reading this month? Let us know in the comments or link up at 5 Minutes for Books where you can also check out what other bloggers are reading!
Of course, I reserve the right to change my mind, follow my whim, and read whatsoever I choose as time and books allow! It's the same old conundrum: so many books, so little time (and money).
What are you reading this month? Let us know in the comments or link up at 5 Minutes for Books where you can also check out what other bloggers are reading!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
In praise of Skype and friendship
I enjoyed an hour's worth of conversation today with my friend Leslie, all via Skype. How cool is that? We didn't video conference, at least I couldn't see her. I think she told me she couldn't see me either which I kind of hope is the case because, well, fair is fair. Not to mention that my attire (and hair and make up) are such that befits a stay at home mom who is staying home all day today.
We've chatted on the phone a few times, me and Leslie, and we've even met in real life, and each time we have opportunity to talk (or email or message via twitter) we always do so with the kind of ease and conversation that accompanies true friendship. We are kindred spirits, Anne would say, and I am glad our electronic paths crossed five years ago!
Today we covered topics ranging from niche blogging to publishing to 1000 Gifts to Legos to Bible study to basketball, just to name a few, and all in an hour's time! We also talked about my apparent blogging blah's and Leslie closed our conversation with the wish that maybe I'll write something today. Maybe, I replied, though I was more than a little dubious.
And miracle of miracles, so I have, such as it is. I've said it many times here in this forum and, since it is my blog after all, I'll say it yet again: I am so thankful for the friendship I enjoy with Leslie and with the other women bloggers who have become my friends (you know who you are!). We mentioned today with affection our "circle" of blogger friends, those women who challenge and encourage us and who actually read what we write and who have become good friends despite, in some instances, many miles, even countries, between us. Where else but the internet? Who else but our God?
Here's to more online conversations via Skype!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Thankfulness on Thursday
Today I am thankful for...
A clean half house. The upstairs is trashed but the downstairs is looking pretty good, thanks to a day of cleaning. I like it when the house is clean; I haven't an obsessive bone in my body, not when it comes to cleaning, so such an environment is a nice treat.
Meeting tonight with the ladies from my church for an evening of food and fellowship. I love getting together with my friends and sisters in Christ! I'm hosting, hence the clean half house mentioned above. :)
The example of Moses' life of faith as described in Hebrews 11. How I want his testimony to be mine as well: "He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward." (verse 26) May I have eyes to see the rich reward of following Christ and may my life of faith reflect Him as more precious than anything the world offers!
This post by my blog friend Elle reflecting on these verses. I hope she doesn't mind but I'm using some of her points in the devotion I'm leading tonight.
Hot showers on cold, gray and dreary days.
Coffee on cold, gray and dreary mornings when it is very difficult to pry myself out of the bed. Well, for that matter, I'm thankful for coffee at any day, any weather, but most particularly on the cold, gray and dreary.
David Crowder Band's newest album, their last. I've had it playing all day as I cleaned and I like it. A lot.
What are you thankful for today?
A clean half house. The upstairs is trashed but the downstairs is looking pretty good, thanks to a day of cleaning. I like it when the house is clean; I haven't an obsessive bone in my body, not when it comes to cleaning, so such an environment is a nice treat.
Meeting tonight with the ladies from my church for an evening of food and fellowship. I love getting together with my friends and sisters in Christ! I'm hosting, hence the clean half house mentioned above. :)
The example of Moses' life of faith as described in Hebrews 11. How I want his testimony to be mine as well: "He considered the reproach of Christ greater wealth than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward." (verse 26) May I have eyes to see the rich reward of following Christ and may my life of faith reflect Him as more precious than anything the world offers!
This post by my blog friend Elle reflecting on these verses. I hope she doesn't mind but I'm using some of her points in the devotion I'm leading tonight.
Hot showers on cold, gray and dreary days.
Coffee on cold, gray and dreary mornings when it is very difficult to pry myself out of the bed. Well, for that matter, I'm thankful for coffee at any day, any weather, but most particularly on the cold, gray and dreary.
David Crowder Band's newest album, their last. I've had it playing all day as I cleaned and I like it. A lot.
What are you thankful for today?
I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart;
I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.
I will be glad and exult in you;
I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.
~ Psalm 9:1-2
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Monday morning dread
This past Monday morning (and maybe other mornings as well...) I laid in the bed a few minutes longer than usual, my mind and body unwilling to get up and face the day. I mentally rehearsed to myself the day's tasks and as I did so I was filled with reluctant dread. I do not want to pack lunch boxes. I do not want to do laundry. I do not feel like dealing with a restless dog caught inside on a rainy day. Grocery shopping, cleaning out the refrigerator, putting the house back together after my recent furniture rearranging attempt--I dread these as well.
It's my usual Monday fare and sometimes, like that morning, I am so overcome with the monotony of it all that I feel as if I could scream. Or, at the very least, forget it all and stay in the bed.
It's pitiful. I am pitiful. I know that these, my petty, silly complaints, are the sorts of first world problems ridiculed on Twitter, the kinds of struggles that are only struggles because of my relative affluence and comfort.
Sometimes I attempt to talk myself out of my funk by telling myself, rather sternly too, that there are women all over the world who not only do not own a closet full of clothes but cannot even conceive of such wealth, women who lack even the most basic of necessities, like running water for instance, much less a grocery store with its vast array of food options. I remind myself of the shacks I saw in Nicaragua, "shack" being a loose term, one I'm not certain is applicable to the sort of structures we saw constructed of sticks and black plastic.
Not only that but there are people I love and care about undergoing very real, very heavy stresses. I worry for them, I pray for them, I beg the Lord on their behalf for His intervention and His provision, and even as I do so I feel guilty for my own petty, superficial worries. I am ashamed of my silliness and I tell myself so. Though my compassion and my intercession for my loved ones are heartfelt and earnest, my tendency to miserable self focus too often returns, now compounded by guilt.
These sorts of lectures correct my mindset for a time but the problem is I can just as easily reflect on women whose circumstances appear to me much more attractive than my own as I can those in lesser. Comparison does not help me, not really, because in my attempt to talk myself out of my bad attitude I only exacerbate it. And I lay in the bed on a Monday morning and dread the day ahead.
My boredom with the monotonous routine that comprises my daily life (such as I see it so, that is), my restless discontent, the dull funk, these are not helped by comparison nor would it serve my family for me to chuck it all in favor of what would seem more exciting, more elegant, more whatever-it-is-I-think-is-better. Nor can I lay in the bed all day. So where do I find relief? What will grant me perseverance to not merely slough through the day but to greet each day's opportunities and responsibilities with joy and energy? After all, the bathrooms must be cleaned. The suppers must be cooked and the laundry must be washed and folded. I cannot escape these tasks; they are occupations granted to me in this stage of my life.
I need perspective. I need to look beyond myself, beyond the dailiness to the eternal. I need to love and love well and in loving well forget myself and honor others. I need eyes to see that the laundry is both responsibility and privilege and that by the seemingly endless, perpetual sorting, washing and folding I fulfilling the high and holy call of serving my family as well as serving my Lord. All things can be done in His name and for His glory, even the most mundane and monotonous. I need a fresh glimpse of grace and the fresh wave of delight that marks those who know themselves forgiven and redeemed. Maybe I need to make some changes but not the sorts of changes born of restless dissatisfaction but those prompted by a desire to please the Lord and to walk in obedience to Him.
I need the gospel.
The good news that Jesus saves sinners isn't only for the exultant, jubilant, victorious moments of life. Nor, for that matter, only for the most desperate and tragic. It is also for the boring dailiness. Perhaps it is especially for the boring dailiness because it is there, in our ordinary-clay-pot lives that the glorious Treasure shines most brightly. In my fight for joy beyond my circumstances I learn that there is no true joy apart from Jesus. He is Life and only He is sufficient to provide what I so desperately lack: perspective, joy, delight, energy. All these--and more--are found in Him as I repent of my funk and seek Him in faith.
When I see Him--really see Him--in the midst of my circumstances, whether those circumstances are boring, exciting, tragic or stressful, I discover the life that is truly life: Christ alone exalted, glorified, sought, found.
It's my usual Monday fare and sometimes, like that morning, I am so overcome with the monotony of it all that I feel as if I could scream. Or, at the very least, forget it all and stay in the bed.
It's pitiful. I am pitiful. I know that these, my petty, silly complaints, are the sorts of first world problems ridiculed on Twitter, the kinds of struggles that are only struggles because of my relative affluence and comfort.
Sometimes I attempt to talk myself out of my funk by telling myself, rather sternly too, that there are women all over the world who not only do not own a closet full of clothes but cannot even conceive of such wealth, women who lack even the most basic of necessities, like running water for instance, much less a grocery store with its vast array of food options. I remind myself of the shacks I saw in Nicaragua, "shack" being a loose term, one I'm not certain is applicable to the sort of structures we saw constructed of sticks and black plastic.
Not only that but there are people I love and care about undergoing very real, very heavy stresses. I worry for them, I pray for them, I beg the Lord on their behalf for His intervention and His provision, and even as I do so I feel guilty for my own petty, superficial worries. I am ashamed of my silliness and I tell myself so. Though my compassion and my intercession for my loved ones are heartfelt and earnest, my tendency to miserable self focus too often returns, now compounded by guilt.
These sorts of lectures correct my mindset for a time but the problem is I can just as easily reflect on women whose circumstances appear to me much more attractive than my own as I can those in lesser. Comparison does not help me, not really, because in my attempt to talk myself out of my bad attitude I only exacerbate it. And I lay in the bed on a Monday morning and dread the day ahead.
My boredom with the monotonous routine that comprises my daily life (such as I see it so, that is), my restless discontent, the dull funk, these are not helped by comparison nor would it serve my family for me to chuck it all in favor of what would seem more exciting, more elegant, more whatever-it-is-I-think-is-better. Nor can I lay in the bed all day. So where do I find relief? What will grant me perseverance to not merely slough through the day but to greet each day's opportunities and responsibilities with joy and energy? After all, the bathrooms must be cleaned. The suppers must be cooked and the laundry must be washed and folded. I cannot escape these tasks; they are occupations granted to me in this stage of my life.
I need perspective. I need to look beyond myself, beyond the dailiness to the eternal. I need to love and love well and in loving well forget myself and honor others. I need eyes to see that the laundry is both responsibility and privilege and that by the seemingly endless, perpetual sorting, washing and folding I fulfilling the high and holy call of serving my family as well as serving my Lord. All things can be done in His name and for His glory, even the most mundane and monotonous. I need a fresh glimpse of grace and the fresh wave of delight that marks those who know themselves forgiven and redeemed. Maybe I need to make some changes but not the sorts of changes born of restless dissatisfaction but those prompted by a desire to please the Lord and to walk in obedience to Him.
I need the gospel.
The good news that Jesus saves sinners isn't only for the exultant, jubilant, victorious moments of life. Nor, for that matter, only for the most desperate and tragic. It is also for the boring dailiness. Perhaps it is especially for the boring dailiness because it is there, in our ordinary-clay-pot lives that the glorious Treasure shines most brightly. In my fight for joy beyond my circumstances I learn that there is no true joy apart from Jesus. He is Life and only He is sufficient to provide what I so desperately lack: perspective, joy, delight, energy. All these--and more--are found in Him as I repent of my funk and seek Him in faith.
When I see Him--really see Him--in the midst of my circumstances, whether those circumstances are boring, exciting, tragic or stressful, I discover the life that is truly life: Christ alone exalted, glorified, sought, found.
Friday, January 06, 2012
Friday's Fave Five
It's Friday, which means Susanne is hosting her weekly Friday's Fave Five carnival! Here are five of my favorite things from the past week...
1. Catching up with old friends. We were in Atlanta for the weekend (see #3 below) and enjoyed reconnecting with friends of my husband's from high school, good friends that he also went off to college with and that were part of our wedding party more than two decades ago. A sign of true friendship is the ability to pick back up with great conversation and easy camaraderie.
2. The Varsity, our chosen venue for our meet-and-greet. Chili burger and onion rings--yum!
3. The Chick Fil A bowl. My guys are big Auburn fans, as you know, and "Santa" brought us all tickets to their bowl game, including a ticket for my son's girlfriend. We didn't have the best seats (upper deck, emphasis on upper) but we had all had a great time.
4. A new year. I know there's nothing magical about January 1 as opposed to December 31 but I like celebrating a new year because it reminds me of the truth that the Lord makes all things new and that for those of us in Christ the old has gone and the new has come, glory to His name! New beginnings and fresh starts aren't unique to the first date on our calendar; rather the Bible asserts that the Lord's mercies are new every morning, a promise that is increasingly precious to me as I consider all the uncertainties and changes 2012 may hold. He has strength for the day, new mercies each morning, and His unfailing love will never cease. What grace!
5. A new cut and color. It is, as I tweeted upon arriving home from the beauty shop today, one of life's happy frivolities. I know it's silly and temporal (so very temporal that I have to make the appointment every six or eight weeks!) but still a favorite.
What are some of your favorites this week? You can link up at Susanne's as well as check out others' favorites.
Happy Friday, friends!
Thursday, January 05, 2012
Thankfulness on Thursday
Today I am thankful for...
A long twitter direct message conversation with a friend last night in which we discussed everything from feeling dull to parenting to being granny bloggers (one day way, way in the future!)
A long phone conversation today with a friend in which we discussed everything from potato soup to Bible study to spiritual dullness to the disorganized state of our respective homes
A joyous text today from a friend sharing a long awaited answer to much prayer
A text conversation today with a friend confessing our respective funks and our mutual desire for more authentic accountability.
A big scare that really was only that, a scare, and a brief one at that, nothing more, though it was really scary at the time!
The assurance that no matter how scary the scare the Lord is faithful in even the scariest of scares as well as in the most joyous of joys!
Lunch with my son
Sunshine
New contacts that will finally, hopefully help me see better!
My loving, hardworking husband
Spontaneous hugs from my children
Tomorrow being Friday which will mean the end of our first week back to school, yes and amen!
What are you thankful for today?
A long twitter direct message conversation with a friend last night in which we discussed everything from feeling dull to parenting to being granny bloggers (one day way, way in the future!)
A long phone conversation today with a friend in which we discussed everything from potato soup to Bible study to spiritual dullness to the disorganized state of our respective homes
A joyous text today from a friend sharing a long awaited answer to much prayer
A text conversation today with a friend confessing our respective funks and our mutual desire for more authentic accountability.
A big scare that really was only that, a scare, and a brief one at that, nothing more, though it was really scary at the time!
The assurance that no matter how scary the scare the Lord is faithful in even the scariest of scares as well as in the most joyous of joys!
Lunch with my son
Sunshine
New contacts that will finally, hopefully help me see better!
My loving, hardworking husband
Spontaneous hugs from my children
Tomorrow being Friday which will mean the end of our first week back to school, yes and amen!
What are you thankful for today?
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
Their mom is a pauper
I was clearing out my nightstand a few weeks ago and ran across some old photographs. Given our current stage of parenting, I was interested by a couple of pictures taken some twenty-plus years ago at my own high school graduation. I was struck by how young my mom looks! And young she was, younger than I am now by a couple of years.
I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day, relating all the latest comings and goings and telling her about helping my son fill out scholarship applications and write corresponding essays and she remarked that she couldn't believe that we were even talking about such things. In other words, we agreed that time, it flies; just as I've confessed such a time or two here on the blog.
How strange to think back to my own high school graduation and then so quickly find myself as the mom anticipating my son's. And yet here we are just a few months' out. I can only wish I look as young and as beautiful as my mom did! And she is such a good mom too; always has been. I am so thankful for my parents!
I remember as a girl computing what my age would be in the year 2000. Imagine my girlish surprise when I realized I would be close to my mom's age! So old...or so I thought as a young nine year old girl. Of course, the closer we drew to the turn of the the millennium the more I realized I wasn't quite as old as I'd dreaded nor as old as I had imagined my mom to be...
I sometimes wonder how my children see me. Old, probably. I have no illusions that they would think me the perfect mom. Quite the contrary, as my failures and inadequacies are on full display for all to see. And remember. Though in my more neurotic moments I fret that I have somehow ruined them forever (and perhaps I have...there's still time, you know...), as I think on it, I confess I really don't want my legacy to be perfection but that despite my many mistakes and shortcomings and outright wrongdoings there was much grace. Yes, I fail. But praise be to God He forgives and He redeems. I am far from the perfect mom yet I belong to the One whose arm is not too short to save!
So, in twenty years or so, when my guys find pictures of their high school graduations may they not only remark on my youth and beauty (or, not...) but even more so may they know their mom is a pauper to the extravagant grace of a merciful God.
I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day, relating all the latest comings and goings and telling her about helping my son fill out scholarship applications and write corresponding essays and she remarked that she couldn't believe that we were even talking about such things. In other words, we agreed that time, it flies; just as I've confessed such a time or two here on the blog.
How strange to think back to my own high school graduation and then so quickly find myself as the mom anticipating my son's. And yet here we are just a few months' out. I can only wish I look as young and as beautiful as my mom did! And she is such a good mom too; always has been. I am so thankful for my parents!
I remember as a girl computing what my age would be in the year 2000. Imagine my girlish surprise when I realized I would be close to my mom's age! So old...or so I thought as a young nine year old girl. Of course, the closer we drew to the turn of the the millennium the more I realized I wasn't quite as old as I'd dreaded nor as old as I had imagined my mom to be...
I sometimes wonder how my children see me. Old, probably. I have no illusions that they would think me the perfect mom. Quite the contrary, as my failures and inadequacies are on full display for all to see. And remember. Though in my more neurotic moments I fret that I have somehow ruined them forever (and perhaps I have...there's still time, you know...), as I think on it, I confess I really don't want my legacy to be perfection but that despite my many mistakes and shortcomings and outright wrongdoings there was much grace. Yes, I fail. But praise be to God He forgives and He redeems. I am far from the perfect mom yet I belong to the One whose arm is not too short to save!
So, in twenty years or so, when my guys find pictures of their high school graduations may they not only remark on my youth and beauty (or, not...) but even more so may they know their mom is a pauper to the extravagant grace of a merciful God.
...formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent.
But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief,
and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me
with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.
The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance,
that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.
1 Tim. 1:13-15
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