Thankfulness on a Thursday

All the cool kids are doing it--Rosemary, Kim, Dorothy , Rebecca--just to name a few of the wise and godly bloggers who are following Kim of The Upward Call in devoting Thursdays of this year to naming things for which they are grateful. Ever one to follow the crowd, especially when the crowd is full of women passionate about knowing and living for the Lord Jesus, women I hope to one day be like, I thought I'd join the fun.

So, today, among the innumerable blessings I have received, I am especially thankful for:

• My favorite Sunday school teacher and the humility and honesty he expressed from the teacher's podium this past Sunday.


• Monday morning prayer time with a good friend. Confessing our struggles and petitioning the Lord together: it's good. Really good.


• Wednesday morning Bible study and the fellowship with my companions in the journey. Discussing holiness and the conviction (and joy!) thereof: it's good. Really good. I am so thankful for our Bible study group!


• The internet and the corresponding electronic and social mediums through which I've discovered a community of like minded friends and sisters in the Lord (the aforementioned crowd, among others). And my husband's recommendation to download gruml, which makes keeping up with all of you a whole lot easier.


• Books, both for edification and challenge as well as entertainment and enjoyment.


• And, at the risk of sounding superficial and obnoxious, I'm also thankful for basketball and my son's team winning the county championship and sporting a 22-3 record (with two games still left to play). What can I say? Winning is a lot of fun. :) Not only that, but you have to understand: just two years ago this team only had four wins all season long. And now back to back county titles? We've come a long way, baby.

Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside. What are you thankful for this week?

On My Nightstand-January

Time once again for 5 Minutes for Books' monthly roundup where book lovers and readers everywhere post what we're reading, just finished reading or about to begin reading. So, here's what's on my "nightstand"...

Recently finished:
Burn by Ted Dekker and Erin Healy. Watch for my review at 5 Minutes for Books but the short version is: it's different (hello, it's Ted Dekker) but it's good. I liked it.

Currently reading:
Finally Alive by John Piper

For Bible study:
Holiness: The Heart God Purifies by Nancy Leigh Demoss

Reviewing for my upcoming teaching in Nicaragua:
Brokenness: The Heart God Revives and Surrender: The Heart God Controls by Nancy Leigh Demoss

Up next:
The Secret of Shadow Ranch (Nancy Drew #5) by Carolyn Keene OR
The Three Musketeers by Dumas

What are YOU reading? Link up at 5 Minutes for Books and let us know!

Godly Gals

My friend Melissa at Mel's World graciously invited me to be a contributor to her Godly Gals feature that posts on Thursdays. My post, The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of, was featured this past Thursday.

It's an honor and a privilege to be included among the Godly Gals highlighted on Melissa's site and I am so glad for the opportunity to share a little of my journey with her readers. I encourage you to pay Melissa and the other Godly Gals a visit!

The Week in Words

From Holiness by Nancy Leigh Demoss:

Yes, holiness involves adherence to a standard but the obedience God asks of us is not cold, rigid and dutiful. It is a warm, joyous, loving response to the God who loves us and created us to enjoy intimate fellowship with Him. It is the overflow of a heart that is deeply grateful to have been redeemed by God from sin. It is not something we manufacture by sheer grit, determination, and willpower. It is motivated and enabled by the Holy Spirit who lives within us to make us holy.

And,

To pursue holiness is to move toward joy--joy infinitely greater than any earthly delights can offer.

To resist holiness or to be half-hearted about its pursuit is to forfeit true joy and to settle for something less than that God-intoxication for which we were created.

Sooner or later, sin will strip and rob you of everything that is truly beautiful and desirable. If you are a child of God, you were redeemed to enjoy the sweet fruit of holiness--to walk in oneness with your heavenly Father, to relish His presence, to rejoice in His mercy, to know the joy of having clean hands, a pure heart, and a clear conscience, and, one day, to stand before Him unashamed.

Why settle for anything less?

The Week in Words is a weekly carnival hosted by my friend Melissa where participants post words and quotes from something they read that week. It can be anything: novels, magazines, the Bible. Click here to see others' words of the week and link up your own!

What I've Been Doing

I have NOT been:

• Blogging, twittering, Facebooking, nor much of anything else computer related. I have been checking email but that's about it.

I have been:

• Grieving over Haiti.


• Mad at Pat Robertson.


• Cheering at basketball games. And, if you can indulge me a moment, I just have to make mention of the fact that my oldest son's team is 19-3 and have a good chance of finishing the season with (what I've been told is) a record setting 24 wins. Okay, mama-moment now over.


• Shopping at thrift stores. I'm a thrifty newbie but it was great fun! My friend and I headed to the big(ger) city south of us in search of skirts for our upcoming mission trip to Nicaragua. It was suggested the ladies on the mission team wear long skirts to the evening church services and to the women's conference yours truly will be teaching. Since both of us are more apt to wear pants than skirts, we decided to see what kind of bargains we could find. I scored big on our first stop: five skirts (three to take and leave, two to keep) for less than SEVEN BUCKS.


• Getting nervous about the upcoming mission trip.


• Already homesick when I consider the upcoming mission trip.


• Attempting to get my house back in order. After packing up all the Christmas decorations (such as it is), I never really put back my usual "decor" (such as it is). I tried my hand at decorating (such as it is) this week. You know, I could have posted pictures of all my tablescapes and such, pretending I was the Nester but I didn't because the Nester, I am not.


• Preparing for Bible study that began today (finally!). Holiness will be a tough subject but I'm so excited and our conversation this morning only fed my sense of anticipation.


• Practicing hospitality. Hosting a community group with church, planning a birthday party--in other words, I'm way outside my comfort zone. I've often wished I were more hospitable; now that I am (however reluctantly), I'm wishing I knew how to do it with ease and grace!

So, what have you been up to?

How can I stand

Lord God Almighty,

Holy is thy wisdom, power, mercy, ways, works.

How can I stand before thee

with my numberless and aggravated offences?

I have often loved darkness,

observed lying vanities,

forsaken thy given mercies,

trampled underfoot thy beloved Son,

mocked thy providences,

flattered thee with my lips,

broken thy covenant.

It is of thy compassion that I am not consumed.

Lead me to repentance, and save me from despair;

Let me come to thee renouncing, condemning,

loathing myself,

but hoping in the grace that flows

even to the chief of sinners.

At the cross may I contemplate the evil of sin,

and abhor it,

look on him whom I pierced,

as one slain for me and by me. . .

Thus may my soul rest in thee, O immortal

and transcendent one,

revealed as thou art in the Person and work of thy Son,

the Friend of sinners.

--From The Valley of Vision:

A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions,

as quoted in Holiness by Nancy Leigh Demoss

On blogging

Several months ago, back when it was still the fall soccer season, we were sitting in the rain (imagine that) at my son's soccer game and my friend expressed to me how much she enjoys reading the blog. Yeah, mine. I am always surprised and humbled, not to mention thankful, that someone reads my thoughts. For them to read and enjoy them? Pretty amazing. To read, enjoy, and tell me so? Icing on the cake.

Anyway, my friend is a mom of three kids, all a little older than mine. As we chatted about regrets and the quick passage of time, she told me how much she wished she'd had the kind of encouragement my blog offers when she was a younger mom in the trenches. We are still in the trenches, she and I, just of a different kind as we seek to raise our teenagers and live to tell about it. Being a mom--of toddlers or teenagers--is an overwhelming task, no two ways about it, but here lately I'm inclined to think the teenaged end of the spectrum is a little more so. You moms of toddlers don't believe me but give it time. You will.

I've spent a lot of seat hours here in front of the laptop these past several days, moving the blog, importing posts and comments, tweaking the layout, in addition to making a valiant attempt to catch up on all the unread posts stuck in perpetuity in my reader. More than once I've wondered if this--the blog, the time spent worrying over color schemes and fonts, the words posted, all of it--if it's all a colossal waste of time or, perhaps worse, nothing but an empty exercise in self preoccupation.

To some degree perhaps yes. None of us bloggers can deny the self-serving element to what we do, that pleasure we get from a post well written, a comment of encouragement, a link inviting others to visit. Maybe it's just me but I don't think so.

Of course, that selfsame, self-serving element can loom large and, like anything else, become self-consuming. I've had stages in my blogging journey where I agonized over comment count (or the lack thereof), where I analyzed my stats and their upward/downward (generally downward) trend, where I envied another bloggers' skill, popularity and wit.

The Lord has graciously granted me a weariness in much of that blog related anxiety and I am grateful to be free from that pressure and preoccupation. I do sometimes wonder why I blog if I have no interest in marketing my message (or, God forbid, market myself). At the risk of proving my point about the self-serving nature of blogging by blogging a self-serving post, I once again ponder my place in the great big blogging world, particularly as I consider there are so many gifted, godly women who blog with far more wisdom than I.

As I type, the thought occurs to me that I'm taking myself far too seriously. No doubt that's true. I do. Perhaps it follows I'm taking my blogging too seriously; I mean, really, it's a fun medium, a social outlet of sorts, a place to connect with friends, why make it more than that? Because I want everything--every thing--in my life to be done in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. From the serious to the not-so, from the fun to the mundane. That includes blogging.

So I think part of the reason I blog goes back to my conversation with my friend. My influence here on the web is small by anyone's standards but it's my earnest desire that the Lord may use my simple, ordinary, very humble words to encourage other ordinary women like me to pursue Christ in all things.

Maybe I do take myself too seriously; maybe this post is indeed entirely self-indulgent but today I wanted to remind myself that this is part of my mission, in my blog and I think too in my real life: to encourage women, moms or not, to find contentment in the ordinariness of life and to see that the Christ is the true Treasure who reveals Himself glorious in simple clay pots.

Mine is a small life, as is true for most of us, and this, my ordinary life, has been granted to me for one purpose: to show God as glorious and to make much of Christ. I want that to be true on the blog as in all things.

Resolved

I don't know your opinion on New Year's resolutions; it's not something I generally do, at least not officially. I mean, I have enough guilt on my own, thank you very much. I don't need yet another reminder of my failures to live up to expectations, even if those expectations are my own. However, like most of us, I can't help turning the page to a new year without considering how it might be different, how I might be different.

I've often wondered what it is about the transition from December 31 to January 1 that prompts such introspection, such desire to be better and do better, such resolve for change. I mean, really, don't get wrong, I need to work out. But I need it just as much in September as I do in January, if not more so.

Most resolutions, or most of mine, both the official and the vaguer, unofficial variety, consist of some sort of behavior modification. For many years, my single resolution was to go to bed with a clean kitchen. Still working on that. I may resolve to work out or read the Bible through in a year or some other necessary remedy to a glaring character flaw. The problem with all this resolution to change what I do or don't do or ought to do is that I can't do any of it. I may start strong but it never lasts. Never. Do yours?

That's how it is when our focus is on our behavior. Those kinds of resolutions, though certainly good and worthy goals, force my self preoccupation. The end result of seeking only to alter my behavior is pride. I either succeed and think I'm the greatest ever (speaking theoretically) or, as is most often the case, I fail, miserably so and I hate myself. Either way, I'm consumed with myself which is, ultimately, pride. And pride, whether it manifests itself in how great I am or how not-great I am, is never, ever satisfied.

Are we not to resolve? This morning I've been pondering this from John Piper concerning resolutions. Consider 2 Thess. 1:11-12 and see the kind of resolutions that please God:

"To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ."

Resolving for good, to walk more worthily of His calling. Depending by faith on His power. All with one singular desire: so that the name of Jesus may be glorified. When we resolve like this, trusting in the power of Jesus, Jesus is glorified! Depending on myself only glorifies myself. Knowing I can't, acknowledging my insufficiency, and yielding to Him in absolute surrender and total desperation--herein are the kind of resolves that are good.

I am resolved.

Pondering Holiness

I've (sort of) begun planning for and thinking towards the start of Bible study next week, preparation which so far has only entailed reading the "Introduction" and the "As You Begin" section in the back of Holiness, the book we will be using in our study. So far, so good. So good, in fact, that I'm going to spread the love and share some of the conviction with you, my readers. Consider this from author Nancy Leigh Demoss:

The message of repentance and holiness needs to be proclaimed, heard, and heeded among God's people in every generation. It must become more than a theological tenet that we politely nod agreement to; it needs to transform the way we think and the way we live.

...my heart is to issue an earnest appeal to God's people--those He calls saints or holy ones--to pursue holiness.

In the back of the book, Demoss offers some questions to help readers determine where they are in relation to the matter of holiness:

1. How important is holiness to you? How much though, attention, and effort do you devote to the pursuit of holiness? Are you intentional about putting away everything that is displeasing to God and living a holy life?

2. [if applicable] How important is your children's holiness to you? (A good gauge--do you care more about their grade point average, their batting average, and their earning capacity, or about tehir purity of heart and life?) Does their sin drive you to your knees?

3. How concerned are you about the holiness of the body of Christ? Does it grieve you when you see yourself or others treating sin lightly?

Yep, told you I'd share some of that conviction. Despite the discomfort of realizing how short I fall in the pursuit of holiness--or maybe because of it--I am so excited about this study! I know that we will yet again experience the Lord's faithful conviction and the joy of His mercy and grace poured out on each of us, the least deserving...

And, hey, if you're local and you're interested in meeting with us, we'd love to have you in our group! Let me know!

In the introduction, Demoss encourages us to pray the following as we begin this pursuit of radical, life altering holiness. As we pray, whether you're an official member of our study group or not, let's expect the Lord to hear and to answer!

Oh, God,
show me more of Your holiness.
Show me more of my sinfulness.
Help me to hate sin and to love righteousness as You do.
Grant me a deeper conviction of sin
and a more thorough spirit of repentance.
And make me holy as You are holy.

Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it. 1 Thess. 5:23-24

One year

This morning my church will celebrate our one year anniversary of covenanting together as a church body. Y'all may remember my post from a year ago describing our joy (and emotion) as we signed covenant together. A year has passed and we can continue to testify of the Lord's goodness and faithfulness.

Psalm 9 was part of my daily Bible reading this morning (yes, I'm a day behind for those of you keeping up) and I couldn't help but think of this morning's celebration as I read:

I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart;
I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.
I will be glad and exult in you;
I will sing praise to your name, O Most High. (Ps. 9:1-2)

Yes and amen.

I've said many times in this forum that a church split turned church plant is not an easy venture. But we give thanks, we exult in the Lord, we sing praise to His name--because He has been faithful. Because He has knit our hearts together as family. Because we are marvel over the glories of the gospel week after week. Because His deeds to us have been wonderful. Not always easy but wonderful. And worth it.

I am grateful. I am humbled.

May the Lord continue to do more than we ask or imagine in this, His church! For His kingdom's glory!

Friday's Fave Five

Joining Susanne in her celebration of five favorites of the week! My favorites:

1. Rejoicing with my dear friend in the healthy arrival of twins! My friend and her husband struggled with infertility and the various treatments thereof, suffering disappointment after disappointment for many, many months before, finally, the Lord blessed her with not one but two precious boys. Through the whole process my friend knew her hope lay in Christ, whether the Lord granted her desire for children or not. Their arrival was early and somewhat unexpected but so far everyone, Mom and babies both, are well. I am thankful for the Lord's faithful provision. To God be the glory!

2. The snow that wasn't quite. A dusting is all, but here down South we enjoy it just the same.

3. Going to the grocery store on Tuesday, well before the "snow rush." It was my usual weekly trip and I was glad to have it out of the way before every other resident of my county madly bought up all the milk and bread to be had. You think I kid.

4. A two day school week. I told y'all I was dreading the return to the races and I was. I said I needed a couple more days to recover and I did. Evidently I got what I wanted! We've been lazy, a little stir crazy, and not at all as productive as we (I) probably should be. Oh, well. How many snow days do we get after all?

5. My new rain boots. Y'all know I was a little ambivalent at first, unsure of the protocol involved. I wore them on a rainy day a few weeks ago with my purchased-for-this-express-purpose skinny jeans tucked in (if ever I wear the skinny jeans apart from boots, please, kindly take me aside and order me home--STAT). I wore them again today to run various errands and the ensuing warmth removed all ambivalence ((they are WARM!!). I love them.

What are your favorites from this week? Link up at Susanne's and let us know!

Linkworthy

New Year from Kim at Lifesong. What Kim is praying for, I am as well.

Sitting in the New Year from girltalk. To choose to sit at Jesus' feet, definitely resolution worthy.

5 Ideas for 2010 from Frank at Pyromaniacs who is nothing if not consistent in his charge to go back to church and stay there. Good stuff.

Read. Your. Bible.. from Everydaymommy. Yes and amen.

Praying in the Closet and in the Spirit from Desiring God. Lord, teach me to pray!

And, finally, my dear friend Lisa has hit it big time. Check out her soon to be released book as well as a fun contest for pastor's wives!

2009 Retrospective: Favorite Post

So Sarah Mae at Like A Warm Cup of Coffee is hosting a link up (with giveaway) whereby participants post their favorite post (from their own blog) from 2009--which, incidentally, is harder than you might imagine. For me, at least. Not because there are so many good ones but quite the opposite, really. Or such is my dilemma.

I like this post about my husband and the Lord saving him as a young man in high school. I also like this honest confessional of my failures to just do it when it comes to speaking of the things of the Lord. And as a perpetually square peg, I like this view on the outside looking in. But, I think the honor of being my favorite post of 2009 goes to this Easter reflection, originally posted last April...

*************

Because of the Cross

As I reflect on the Easters of my growing up years, the following memories spring immediately to mind:

Several weeks before Easter Sunday we would go to the fabric store, first perusing the pattern books, marking any dress patterns we liked with a torn slip of paper (this before the wonder that is the post it note). After looking at the McCall, Butterick, and Vogue books, we would then attempt to narrow down our favorites, finally choosing just one. From the patterns we would then walk up and down row after row of fabric, unrolling bolts, cutting swatches, comparing favorites until just the right fabric was chosen. From fabric to choosing thread, buttons and zipper and then home where my mom would get busy cutting and sewing and hemming, thus creating our custom, one of a kind, made to order Easter dresses.

My mom is incredibly talented, no doubt about it.

Some of my favorite memories growing up are of the fabric store.

I also remember Easter lunch, consisting of ham and variety of sides but always, always potato salad. Sadly enough, this is a tradition I am unable to continue in my own home. The ham, yes; potato salad, no. My husband considers eggs and mayonnaise, and particularly the combination thereof, grounds for divorce.

You think I kid.

Egg hunts are another favorite memory, and not the big corporate church hunts, but hunts at our home, in our backyard or even in the den. My dad hiding the eggs, me and my sister hunting. Me hiding, my sister hunting. My sister hiding, me hunting. Me and my sister hiding for my brother to hunt. You get the idea. We never tired of it, at least not in my memory.

One Easter we came downstairs and our baskets were hidden. Another year the Easter bunny, that trickster, hid our eggs himself while we were sleeping. Because of the aforementioned love of the hunt, we knew exactly how many eggs were to be found. But we never did find them all that day. It was a great curiosity to us as to where and when the rogue egg would show up...

Thankfully, we hunted the plastic egg and not the hard boiled variety.

When I was a young girl, maybe 8 or 10, I remember us watching one of the Jesus movies while seated on the floor in front of my grandmother's console tv. Then, as now, I had loved Jesus for as long as I could remember and certainly knew the details of the Easter story--but that year something happened to my heart as the crucifixion scene reached its climax: my heart, it broke. I wept inconsolably and rushed from the room.

I couldn't bear it.

Suddenly the story was more than a story; it was a reality.

My mom followed me into the bedroom, assuring me, comforting me, coaxing me back to the movie, to see that the ending is good, Jesus lives, it's not the end, not yet.

Many years later I sat in a darkened movie theater and cried again even as I hid my eyes from the terror of the cross as depicted in a motion picture. The ending was good, Jesus lives, but, oh my word, the cross...the blood...I couldn't bear it.

Every Easter I ponder the unimaginable horror that is the cross. Some say it reflects my worth in that Jesus was willing to endure such a cruel death in order to save me. I disagree. With great humility and heartbreak, I confess it shows the depth of my sin and the terrible price it demanded--the death of God's own Son! It is my wickedness on display at the cross, not my worth.

My wickedness, Christ's mercy. My depravity, His forgiveness. Did ever such love and sorrow meet, or thorns compose so rich a crown? He has redeemed me by His blood, bought me with a price. I am His; He is mine. Because of His great love, He has made me alive even though I was dead, wallowing in the stench of my sin, separated, doomed, deserving of damnation to an eternity in hell.

This is the cross of Christ. This is His mercy and His grace. For our God made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. Glory to His name!

I think of my heart breaking as a young girl before the horror of the crucifixion and I ask that I not forget. I want to remember and worship the glory of my Lord Jesus as revealed in the cross. On Easter. On Monday. On Tuesday. On every day. From now through eternity.

My prayer is that you too would remember...and worship..with hearts broken before the grace and mercy of a holy God...He alone is worthy!

For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness who has shone in our heart to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. 2 Cor. 4:6

He is risen! He lives! Hallelujah!

*************

Do you have a favorite post of your own? Repost it and link up over at Like A Warm Cup of Coffee!

The why and the why not

In the next few days I will be ordering books for our winter session of Bible study. I'd be curious to know exactly how many studies I've facilitated. I once counted up but that was four or five years ago so the total, even if I could remember, would be off by ten or twelve at least.

Some of the studies I remember with great clarity. In other words, they rocked my world. Studies like Seeking Him and Surrender, just to name a couple. Other studies are also clear in my mind but for less remarkable reasons...

As near as I can figure, I've been sitting the teacher's chair in some form or another for over ten years, probably closer to twelve. I was wondering today: why? Why me? And why for so long? As I think on it, there are several reasons why I've wanted to quit and perhaps would even have been justified in doing so...

1. I have no idea what I'm doing. Really, I don't. Anyone who thinks I have this thing all together either doesn't know me very well or is seriously deluded. I am the least qualified and the biggest mess. Nearly every week as I'm headed out the door on my way to our meeting I can't but help but wonder if this will be the week my hypocrisy is exposed.

2. Over the course of ten or twelve years and unnumbered studies, there have (of course) been those instances where only one or two ladies come and even been a couple where no one showed up at all. I can't tell you how discouraging it is to research and prepare only to feel as if it was all in vain! I understand inevitable conflicts, don't get me wrong. I totally get that sometimes there are other priorities that must take precedence. I'm not saying I expect perfect attendance nor that no excuse is acceptable. I'm merely speaking to the frustration that sometimes comes with dwindling attendance. Sometimes it's easy to think that maybe if I were doing everything right more people would come rather than less.

3. Research and preparation take time and, let's face it, time is precious. If I'm getting ready for Bible study then I'm not, say, cleaning house or accomplishing any of the other multitude of necessary and worthy pursuits that vie for my time and energy.

4. Sometimes I just grow weary. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes the last thing I want to do is teach Bible study. Sometimes I want to sit in the back with my mouth shut. Sometimes I just don't want to be the teacher.

Some legitimate, some not so much, but all are reasons I've considered from time to time in my teaching journey. With such temptation to lay it all down, what keeps me going? Why teach if I'm not only unqualified, but I don't really have time and sometimes it feels like only a few even care anyway? A few reasons why...

1. I can't not do it. I don't really know why, exactly, just that that is the way it is. I began teaching out of a need in my own life and I need it still. It wasn't so much a holy calling; it was (and is) a holy desperation.

2. The time spent in research and preparation results in far more than mere research and preparation. The task can get in the way of the goal but ultimately I'm not just after five or so pages of neatly typed notes. Over and above mere lesson prep, I find God Himself, He who promises that as I seek Him with my whole heart, He will be found. As I discipline myself to the study of His living Word, I discover the riches of the glory of God in the face of Christ. He speaks and I see His glory, there, in my Bible. Who can get over that? It's amazing. It's humbling. It's profound. It's worth laying aside all other pursuits. It makes me long for more! What grace! What glory!

3. One or two women who come to Bible study are one or two women who are coming to Bible study and that's not only enough, it's exciting! I am ashamed of my pride that has regarded a group of "only" one or two as unworthy of my time and effort. It's embarrassing for me to admit but I remember quite clearly a Sunday afternoon Bible study class I was facilitating. On one particular Sunday only two students came to class so I just didn't teach. I was disappointed no one "else" came so we didn't have class. Can you believe it? I can't. The memory of it fills me with such shame still though it was probably six or seven years ago, if not longer. I was essentially saying to those two young women that they weren't worth it to me. How the Lord has humbled me through that experience. May I never despise the two or three who meet in His name; may I instead realize His gracious condescension to me, to the women in the class, to all who long to know Him in the pages of His Word. I do not deserve His grace and I cannot, I must not, withhold it.

So, there it is: the why and the why not. Glory to God, His ways are not our ways and His paths are beyond figuring out. Maybe it doesn't make sense for me to persevere in my role as Bible teacher; maybe His call on your life seems equally impractical and unlikely. For us both, I pray that we not grow weary in doing good but remain confident that He will indeed accomplish HIS purposes in us and through us! Glory to His name! Our labor is not in vain; we will reap a great harvest for His kingdom's glory if we do not give up but persevere, steadfast and immovable!

Status Report, January

Sitting...at my dining room table. Considering a move to the sofa in front of the electric heater but thinking Sponge Bob will be a distraction.

Drinking...coffee, black. Guzzling is more like it.

Thinking...today will be a two pot kind of day and then some.

Loving...the cold weather but 19 is some kind of cold, especially for my neck of the woods.

Anticipating...a rude awakening in the morning for all of us. Literally. Over the course of the Christmas break we've been sleeping later and later. 6:30 will come awfully early for my guys! Even I've been sleeping in until 7:30 or 8, late for me, so I'll be straggling along with them.

Dreading...the return to the races tomorrow. The week between Christmas and New Year's is one of my favorites of the year because we do next to nothing. I like it that way, at least for awhile.

Starting...the Nancy Drew challenge with the first book under my belt. I was amused by Nancy's extraordinary abilities (she changes a tire, she bandages an ankle) as well as her chic beauty and blue convertible. No wonder I liked her so much as a girl!

Reading...through the Bible again this year. I'm a little embarrassed to admit this but last year was the first year I ever completed a one year Bible reading plan. I'm excited about doing it all over again! I like this plan because it's divided into 25 days of reading per month. I know, I know, it's still the same 66 books of the Bible but it really helps mentally to know that there are five "catch up" days each month. Want to print your own bookmarks for this plan? Look under my "Links" tab above for the bookmark links.

Liking...my new site though it took me awhile to get it set up and I'm still a little iffy on some of the features. Anyone know how I can change the font size on the block quote?

Ordering...our Bible study books this week: Holiness: The Heart God Purifies (Revive Our Hearts) by Nancy Leigh Demoss. I can't wait!

Nervous...about my trip to Nicaragua in just a few weeks. I'm beginning to get more than a little anxious about leaving my family for so long--it'll be longest I've EVER been away from any of them! It's a weird set of emotions because y'all know how much I've wanted to go on mission; for years it's been a heart's desire of mine. Yet here I am and I'm tempted to turn tail and run! I won't; I'm just keepin' it real. Will you pray with me for the Lord's provision not just logistically but emotionally and mentally as well? He will indeed show Himself strong on our behalf and it will be my joy and privilege to proclaim the hope of Christ to the women of Nicaragua...

Planning...a sixteenth birthday party for my oldest son later this month. Is that crazy or what? Sixteen? Really? It's official: I'm old. Old or not, I'm looking forward to having a fellow taxi driver. I know, I know, I'll be nervous and I'll worry but I'll also be glad to be getting in and out of the Suburban a little less often!

Pouring...yet another cup of coffee. Happy Monday, everyone!

Welcome!

Welcome to my new home on the world wide web! I'm still figuring everything out (like, for instance, why is the font on my "Author" section there on the sidebar so very small? why is the font on a block quote so very LARGE? and what is the difference between a tag and a category?).

Anyway, I'm glad to be here and I'm glad you've found your way over here! As always, it is my earnest desire that the words posted here serve to edify and encourage, bringing glory to Jesus Christ, the only One worthy. It's funny, the very first words I wrote as a blogger echo in my mind and heart still, these many months, these many years and these many posts later. What I said then I say again:

Well, here it is. My first official post, and I find my fingers hesitating over the keyboard. Any thrill I may receive from seeing my words posted on the internet for any who would to read is somewhat overshadowed by a fair amount of trepidation. I find myself asking...

1. Do I even know what I'm doing? Easy enough to answer: NO. Not only am I a total newbie to this whole blogging medium, I'll be the first to admit I am severely technologically challenged...

2. Do I have something to say? Bookworm that I am, I have always loved words, especially words well chosen and well written. Words contain power to influence and challenge, to inspire and encourage, to provoke laughter as well as tears. Not that I claim such eloquence for myself. Certainly there are bloggers more skilled with the keyboard than I. Many who are wittier and smarter and easily more theologically profound. I am as ordinary as we come. Yet it is my desire that out of this very ordinary life, my God may show Himself extraordinary. I am the humble clay jar blogger "that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of [me]". (2 Cor. 4:7)

3. Does what I say matter? I'm not quite sure why I feel compelled to post my thoughts and ramblings on such a public forum. I am not so interested in a great readership nor large comment counts, rather that these words of mine may somehow encourage others and thereby exalt the Lord Jesus Christ.

May God take this ordinary offering and ignite it with the fire of His glory so that all may see Christ only, always, living in me...

Yes, Lord. Let it be.

I'm moving!

You might say my friend Leslie has inspired me. She recently moved her blog over to wordpress, something I've been considering for awhile. I actually set up a wordpress account over a year ago but evidently I had to wait for Leslie to inspire me with a move of her own. And, just like Leslie, I now even have my very own domain name: lisaspence.com!

Are y'all impressed or what?

So, I hope you'll update your feeds, change your subscriptions and visit me often over at my new site. Oh, and if you a post a comment or two that would be fabulous as well! (Y'all know that every blogger's love language is comments and more of them, right?)

Go, check it out and let me know what you think. I look forward to our virtual conversations!

Classics, Mysteries, and the Challenges thereof

Here are a couple of reading challenges that I'm excited about beginning here at the start of the New Year...

5 Minutes for Books' NEW Classics Bookclub

Under the new and improved plan, you pick the books you want to read, you pick when you want to read them and you pick how many you'll read! We'll link up on the fifth Tuesdays to report our progress. Interested? Link your goals up here and earn a chance to win a giveaway!

I love the classics bookclub, as you well know, and I'm excited about the new format. I'm hoping it will give me some accountability as well as introduce me to some titles I might not have considered otherwise! For my goals (subject to change, of course), classic titles I'd like to read:

Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan

The Three Musketeers by Dumas

The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Of course, I have none of these in my possession so it may depend on what the library has available! More astute readers may remember that not too long ago I attempted to read both a Faulkner and a Hemingway title but, sadly, couldn't make my way through either of them. Maybe it was just a stage. Maybe I'll try again. My friend Kim loves Thomas Hardy so I might pick up one of his novels.

Speaking of classics, 5 Minutes for Books is also hosting the Children's Classics Mystery Challenge

As a girl I loved, loved, LOVED reading Trixie Belden, Encyclopedia Brown, and of course Nancy Drew (my absolute favorite). In this challenge, which will run from January to July, participants are asked to read some of their favorite childhood mysteries and link up their thoughts on the second Tuesday of each month. As with the New and Improved Classics Bookclub, you can participate as much or as little as you like, it's totally up to you! Be sure to link up your goals here. As for me, I plan to revisit my old friend Nancy Drew as part of this challenge:

The Nancy Drew Challenge

Here we will attempt to make our way through all 56 original yellow spine Nancy Drew mysteries! As I said, these were my absolute favorites growing up. I own a few yellow spined copies from my girlhood, not nearly as many as I wanted at the time, but my parents were big fans of the public library. To this day, some of my favorite memories include maxing out my library card (six book limit) with, among others, Nancy's exploits with Bess, George and Ned. I don't know if I can make it through all fifty six this year but it will be fun to try! Interested? Link up here!

Classics, Mysteries, and the Challenges thereof

Here are a couple of reading challenges that I'm excited about beginning here at the start of the New Year...

5 Minutes for Books' NEW Classics Bookclub

Under the new and improved plan, you pick the books you want to read, you pick when you want to read them and you pick how many you'll read! We'll link up on the fifth Tuesdays to report our progress. Interested? Link your goals up here and earn a chance to win a giveaway!

I love the classics bookclub, as you well know, and I'm excited about the new format. I'm hoping it will give me some accountability as well as introduce me to some titles I might not have considered otherwise! For my goals (subject to change, of course), classic titles I'd like to read:

Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan

The Three Musketeers by Dumas

The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Of course, I have none of these in my possession so it may depend on what the library has available! More astute readers may remember that not too long ago I attempted to read both a Faulkner and a Hemingway title but, sadly, couldn't make my way through either of them. Maybe it was just a stage. Maybe I'll try again. My friend Kim loves Thomas Hardy so I might pick up one of his novels.

Speaking of classics, 5 Minutes for Books is also hosting the Children's Classics Mystery Challenge

As a girl I loved, loved, LOVED reading Trixie Belden, Encyclopedia Brown, and of course Nancy Drew (my absolute favorite). In this challenge, which will run from January to July, participants are asked to read some of their favorite childhood mysteries and link up their thoughts on the second Tuesday of each month. As with the New and Improved Classics Bookclub, you can participate as much or as little as you like, it's totally up to you! Be sure to link up your goals here. As for me, I plan to revisit my old friend Nancy Drew as part of this challenge:

The Nancy Drew Challenge

Here we will attempt to make our way through all 56 original yellow spine Nancy Drew mysteries! As I said, these were my absolute favorites growing up. I own a few yellow spined copies from my girlhood, not nearly as many as I wanted at the time, but my parents were big fans of the public library. To this day, some of my favorite memories include maxing out my library card (six book limit) with, among others, Nancy's exploits with Bess, George and Ned. I don't know if I can make it through all fifty six this year but it will be fun to try! Interested? Link up here!

On giving the perfect gift

I'm a terrible gift giver. Really, I am. I like to give, so it's not a lack of want-to. It just doesn't come easily. I am always amazed (and a little envious of) those who can consistently give the perfect gift with ease and joy. My sister is one such giver. She loves to give gifts for any occasion and even for non-occasions. Plus, she has excellent taste so it's a total win for those of us on the receiving end.

My husband and I share this gift giving impairment which means we are rarely surprised but then again we are rarely disappointed because, well, we know the effort required. Of course, we aren't particularly extravagant in our gifts to each other; more years than not we haven't even exchanged gifts. Guess it's just not our love language or something.

And, unless you think I'm being critical or bitter or something, let me say clearly: I'm not. Not at all. Some of you gift givers may be shocked but this is how we are. I like it. I love him; he loves me and we are happy to not feel like we have to express it with our credit card.

Except every once in awhile he or I will get an inspiration and, despite ourselves, end up experiencing the rare delight of surprising the unsuspecting other. Such was my joy this Christmas. I commissioned my friend Kim to use her considerable talents to create this beautiful artwork:

Y'all, she is some kind of talented. That image does not do justice to the beauty of her work. I haven't gotten it matted and framed yet; when I do my husband plans to hang it in his office. Unfortunately I'm learning the best gifts are ones you'd like to keep for yourself...

Anyway, Kim hasn't asked me for any kind of shout out or shameless plug. This is just me telling you to go, check out her gallery, and see how talented she is. From bookmarks to wedding invitations to beautiful pieces like my husband's, I think you'll be impressed! I'm already pondering another project; maybe this verse for my boys (Ps. 133:1--look it up, see if you don't think it'd be appropriate for my household).

On giving the perfect gift

I'm a terrible gift giver. Really, I am. I like to give, so it's not a lack of want-to. It just doesn't come easily. I am always amazed (and a little envious of) those who can consistently give the perfect gift with ease and joy. My sister is one such giver. She loves to give gifts for any occasion and even for non-occasions. Plus, she has excellent taste so it's a total win for those of us on the receiving end.

My husband and I share this gift giving impairment which means we are rarely surprised but then again we are rarely disappointed because, well, we know the effort required. Of course, we aren't particularly extravagant in our gifts to each other; more years than not we haven't even exchanged gifts. Guess it's just not our love language or something.

And, unless you think I'm being critical or bitter or something, let me say clearly: I'm not. Not at all. Some of you gift givers may be shocked but this is how we are. I like it. I love him; he loves me and we are happy to not feel like we have to express it with our credit card.

Except every once in awhile he or I will get an inspiration and, despite ourselves, end up experiencing the rare delight of surprising the unsuspecting other. Such was my joy this Christmas. I commissioned my friend Kim to use her considerable talents to create this beautiful artwork:

Y'all, she is some kind of talented. That image does not do justice to the beauty of her work. I haven't gotten it matted and framed yet; when I do my husband plans to hang it in his office. Unfortunately I'm learning the best gifts are ones you'd like to keep for yourself...

Anyway, Kim hasn't asked me for any kind of shout out or shameless plug. This is just me telling you to go, check out her gallery, and see how talented she is. From bookmarks to wedding invitations to beautiful pieces like my husband's, I think you'll be impressed! I'm already pondering another project; maybe this verse for my boys (Ps. 133:1--look it up, see if you don't think it'd be appropriate for my household).

2010

It is a quiet New Year's morning. The house is still. Two children remain in the bed, my husband and my other two children enjoying (enduring?) a traditional New Year's forty mile bicycle ride. Me, I'm still moving slowly, unable to yet recover from the madness that is December as we know it. I am glad for the week between Christmas and New Year's, for the opportunity to (finally!) rest, recuperate, reflect.

2010. Can it be? I told someone yesterday that I never really grew accustomed to writing "2008" and now it's 2010? Does anyone else wish for a pause button?

I haven't spent the entire week on the sofa (almost but not entirely). I did spend most of the day Wednesday taking down our Christmas decorations (almost but not entirely). While I had everything torn down and out of place anyway, I decided why not go ahead and vacuum and mop under the sofas and in the corners? I don't know what got into me. I'm sure it's only a phase and will indeed pass. It always does.

I also decided to move my husband's grandmother's cedar chest downstairs into our den. To make the moving a little easier and a little lighter, I emptied the contents and found myself in the middle of an Amy Grant song: Down on my knees, lifetimes of boxes timeless to me. Letters and photographs yellowed with years, some bringing laughter, some bringing tears. Except there weren't any boxes nor letters or photographs but rather clothes and various mementos from my boys' babyhoods. Calendars marking their first year of life, tiny little blue outfits worn home from the hospital, blankets hand crocheted in love (but not by me). One of my favorites: a blue tank top worn and faded with the number 5 on front and back. It was my second son's "basketball shirt" he wore every. single. day. when he was maybe 3 or 4. It was so tiny!

It seems like forever ago. It seems like yesterday. I miss it so much, my boys being little. I didn't know how fast time would pass. I didn't realize that just like that I would one day wake up to the year 2010. And so I have. I may wish for 1999--and I do indeed cherish those memories, they are just like Amy says, heirlooms to me--but the reality is that this is the day the Lord has made: New Year's Day, January 1, 2010.

So today I will cook blackeyed peas and cornbread. I will watch football. I will print out brand new bookmarks for my Bible reading plan. I will turn the page from 2009 and look ahead to 2010. I will remember with gratitude and humility the Lord's innumerable faithfulnesses and blessings to me and I will eagerly anticipate the immeasurably more He will accomplish.

Here at the start of the new year, I want to number my days and gain a heart of wisdom. I want to make the most of my time, looking carefully as I walk, not as unwise but wise. I want to proclaim the riches of the glory of God found in Christ. I want to say with Paul that for me, to live is Christ. He is everything. He is all.

2010

It is a quiet New Year's morning. The house is still. Two children remain in the bed, my husband and my other two children enjoying (enduring?) a traditional New Year's forty mile bicycle ride. Me, I'm still moving slowly, unable to yet recover from the madness that is December as we know it. I am glad for the week between Christmas and New Year's, for the opportunity to (finally!) rest, recuperate, reflect.

2010. Can it be? I told someone yesterday that I never really grew accustomed to writing "2008" and now it's 2010? Does anyone else wish for a pause button?

I haven't spent the entire week on the sofa (almost but not entirely). I did spend most of the day Wednesday taking down our Christmas decorations (almost but not entirely). While I had everything torn down and out of place anyway, I decided why not go ahead and vacuum and mop under the sofas and in the corners? I don't know what got into me. I'm sure it's only a phase and will indeed pass. It always does.

I also decided to move my husband's grandmother's cedar chest downstairs into our den. To make the moving a little easier and a little lighter, I emptied the contents and found myself in the middle of an Amy Grant song: Down on my knees, lifetimes of boxes timeless to me. Letters and photographs yellowed with years, some bringing laughter, some bringing tears. Except there weren't any boxes nor letters or photographs but rather clothes and various mementos from my boys' babyhoods. Calendars marking their first year of life, tiny little blue outfits worn home from the hospital, blankets hand crocheted in love (but not by me). One of my favorites: a blue tank top worn and faded with the number 5 on front and back. It was my second son's "basketball shirt" he wore every. single. day. when he was maybe 3 or 4. It was so tiny!

It seems like forever ago. It seems like yesterday. I miss it so much, my boys being little. I didn't know how fast time would pass. I didn't realize that just like that I would one day wake up to the year 2010. And so I have. I may wish for 1999--and I do indeed cherish those memories, they are just like Amy says, heirlooms to me--but the reality is that this is the day the Lord has made: New Year's Day, January 1, 2010.

So today I will cook blackeyed peas and cornbread. I will watch football. I will print out brand new bookmarks for my Bible reading plan. I will turn the page from 2009 and look ahead to 2010. I will remember with gratitude and humility the Lord's innumerable faithfulnesses and blessings to me and I will eagerly anticipate the immeasurably more He will accomplish.

Here at the start of the new year, I want to number my days and gain a heart of wisdom. I want to make the most of my time, looking carefully as I walk, not as unwise but wise. I want to proclaim the riches of the glory of God found in Christ. I want to say with Paul that for me, to live is Christ. He is everything. He is all.