What's On My Nightstand, April

Here's a look at what I've been reading...

I recently finished reading Discipline: The Glad Surrender by Elisabeth Elliot. So recently, in fact, that I finished it yesterday in car line just in time for our book club meeting tonight! I liked it; I will say, however, it wasn't what I expected even though I really have no idea what I was expecting! I really liked what she had to say about the discipline of work:

What constitutes a "great work for God"? Where does it begin? Always in humility. Not in being served, but in serving. Not in self-actualization but in self-surrender.

Good stuff there. I don't intend to write a full-blown review but while I'm here I'll tell you I also liked her point about possessions, that they are given to us by God,  received with thanksgiving, to be enjoyed, and ultimately offered back to Him in a sacrifice of willing surrender. I found her treatment of the discipline of place to be the most intriguing as she discussed the believer giving honor to others, treating others as better than themselves. As I said, good stuff.

We will begin a Wednesday night study at my church based on the book Knowing God by J.I. Packer so that will make its way onto my reading stack now that I've completed Discipline. I just received The God Who Is There, The: Finding Your Place in God's Story by D.A. Carson and I'm really excited about reading that.

In the fiction arena, I am currently reading Charles Dickens' Our Mutual Friend, at the recommendation of a friend. I like it; Dickens is a master both of caricature and of the sorts of twists and turns that keeps the reader guessing. Plus it is at times laugh out loud funny! It is taking me a lot longer to read this novel than I thought; I've been working on it for two weeks now! I won't say it's getting tedious; I will say I am ready to know how all the various plot and subplots fall into place.

After Our Mutual Friend, I'd like to read Beth Pattillo's The Dashwood Sisters Tell All. I liked her first two Austen-esque novels so I'm looking forward to this one. I also have Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry in my stack and I checked out The No.1 Ladies' Detective Agency from the library at the same time I checked out Our Mutual Friend (not knowing it would take me the full two weeks' allotted and then some! Thankfully we can re-check once!). Our book club will be reading Jane Austen's Persuasion for our May meeting and I'm (of course) looking forward to that.

What are you reading this month? Link up at 5 Minutes for Books and check out others' lists as well!

Words fail

Once again I find my words inadequate. Not only inadequate but also hard to come by. In other words, I can't say what I want to say and what I do say doesn't say enough. Twenty minutes I've been sitting here and so far: two sentences. Hello, writer's block.

Let's begin with the facts. Yesterday was Easter Sunday, the celebration of the resurrection of our Lord. We the family cleaned up pretty good:

Mimi, my husband's mom, came for a visit and I think she enjoyed the time with her nearly grown grandsons:

Our church celebration began with a thought-provoking discussion in Sunday school led by my favorite Sunday school teacher. In our corporate worship we joyfully sang songs that spoke of our living Lord. We also heard testimonies of three prospective church members and praised the Lord as we witnessed four baptisms--in a horse trough!

After the church service we hosted Easter dinner for several of our friends who, like us, haven't family close by. Good food, good conversation, good fellowship, a couple of egg hunts and several games of Baggo marked our afternoon.

Those are the facts of our day. What I struggle to tell you is how full my heart is and how grateful I am. I can't describe to you the sadness mixed with wonder as we heard the faithful testimony of a young couple determined to trust in the goodness of the Lord despite losing their baby nor of the tears we shed as a grown man entered the baptismal trough after testifying of the power of Christ to save the most desperate of sinners. We all cried as well, I think, as a dad baptized his boy, proclaiming the joy of knowing him as a son but the even greater joy of knowing him as a brother in Christ. Spending the afternoon with friends and fellow believers was yet another sort of grace granted to us yesterday. Though I missed being with my parents and sister and brother and their families, very much so, surely among the Lord's greatest blessings is the closeness of fellowship and community that exists between believers! All in all, it was the kind of day so full of the goodness of the Lord that the keyboard and blogger are rendered inadequate to describe it.

See, I told you: words fail. I've typed and re-typed that paragraph and, still, I can't convey to you the glory of the Lord that shone 'round about us yesterday. It was a glorious, beautiful day full of boasting in the cross of our Lord and rejoicing in the blessings that are ours because of Christ. What joy is ours because of Jesus! He is Life, the indescribable Gift of God! May you also taste and see that the Lord is good and find in Him joy everlasting!

Doctrine in the Kitchen: God's Sovereignty

It is one thing to affirm God’s sovereignty while sitting in front of my laptop in my comfortable home. It is another thing entirely to consider the omnipotence of a sovereign God when one is reeling from the aftermath of a tornado…or a tsunami…or a heartache…or an overwhelming loss…or any other disappointment, large or small. In the throes of struggles and trials the providence of God can seem mysterious and perhaps even confusing. Where is He? Does He care? Does He see? How can He allow such pain? Why?...

Read the rest of my post here...

Friday morning

It's been a long week with a long and busy day yesterday. I am exhausted. My day yesterday began well with a great Bible study followed by errands and lunch with my husband and friends. Yesterday afternoon was the usual rush of more errands and car line, followed by the not-so-usual: a tuxedo fitting for my oldest son who will be attending prom this Saturday along with all its accompanying activities, from pictures to limo to a restaurant meal in the big city to the prom itself to a post-prom breakfast. Let's just say William and Kate have nothing on the pomp and circumstance of today's prom. So I kid, but only a little. Last time I went to prom (two decades ago...okay, closer to three decades ago), your date borrowed his dad's car and your mom snapped your picture in front of the fireplace before you went to eat. No more.

Enough of my prom rant. I will say I think my son will have a wonderful time, the stuff memories are made of, even if his mother has a difficult time reconciling the handsome man in a tux with the little boy of her mind's eye (and heart).

Following the tux fitting (which necessitated the hem of the pants being let out a full three inches), it was a mad dash home to clean up the kitchen before my in laws arrived, a mad dash to a meeting, supper out with the in laws followed by a soccer match which we lost. In penalty kicks, a stinky way to lose. We didn't get home until well after ten p.m., hence the exhaustion I mentioned earlier.

While at the soccer match I received a call from our vet. Some of you know our puppy is very sick. His call confirmed that she is by no means better and in fact not doing well at all. I will call him this morning, here in just a few minutes, but the short of it is she may not recover. My boys--my younger two especially--are grieving, my husband too. I am as well. I dread calling him and I dread what he may have to tell me.

Depending on the outcome of my telephone call, I am thinking I may spend my morning in the pages of Our Mutual Friend instead of cleaning out the playroom closet which is really what I ought to do (oh, the list of things I ought to do!). I may check out the Masterpiece theater offerings on Netflix's instant queue. I do know I will be getting my hair cut and colored at 11:30, a welcome--albeit frivolous and silly--exercise, which is okay so long as I remember it is frivolous and silly and temporal in its joy. Still, it is a joy and one I look forward to.

I am thinking on our conversation from Bible study yesterday when we discussed worship and how true worship is not fueled by our feelings. True, there are feelings involved in worship (as they should be!) and it is right and good to worship the Lord in the overflow of joy and exultation. Sometimes, though, our worship may be a discipline of sorts, a determination to remember the Lord's grace and goodness while fighting weariness or melancholy, you know, just by way of example. He is worthy in those times as well and I rejoice. He is my salvation and my song!

Doctrine in the Kitchen

My friend Becky is hosting a month long series, Doctrine in the Kitchen. She has invited a group of women bloggers to share their thoughts on doctrine and how it influences their day-to-day lives, in the kitchen as it were. Doctrine is often perceived as dry and boring, belonging to realm of academia. Not so fast, my friends. Here are real women with real lives sharing a real love for doctrine. Reading of other women's love for God's Word and how it has transformed their hearts and lives has both encouraged and challenged me. Becky's passion is for women to know and study Scripture and she hopes this series will fan into flame a desire to press on to the deep things of the Lord! Please, check it out. I think you'll be encouraged as well! Plus, there's giveaways! Go, browse Becky's site (or the Doctrine in the Kitchen facebook page) and see how the living Word of God makes a difference in the lives of women.

What I Might Have Blogged, Had I Blogged

Yes, it's another compilation of all the wise and wonderful (not to mention witty) blog posts I might have written, had I actually written. So, here's what I might have blogged, had I blogged...

Thursday morning
I could have told you of the wonderful time we had in Bible study, of the honest and authentic discussion we engaged in, and of the warm fellowship we enjoyed. It was the good stuff, glory to God.

Thursday evening
Should I have felt the inclination to indulge in some mommy blogging, I might have told you of my sons' soccer game, my number one son earning his first ever yellow card, and my number two boy kicking a corner kick into the net for a score. And of the intense atmosphere and of the young high school fan for the opposing team overheard asking if there had ever been any really good soccer players who were black (and me wanting to say, "Um, hello? Pele?"). Of course the last part of such a post would no doubt have been a little on the snarky side so perhaps it's better I didn't get around to writing it.

Friday
I could have confessed to you my neuroses as a shopper. I always forget how much I really don't like to shop.

Saturday
I could have written two blog posts today: one expressing my excitement in finally getting to see the Jane Eyre movie (finally!!!) and the second telling you how much I enjoyed the movie (well worth the road trip to the big city) but how I enjoyed the company and conversation of a good friend even more so. Books, theology, movies, raising boys, church: we about covered it all. We had a blast.

Sunday
I might have posted yet another boast in the Lord of His goodness to us, my church. (A little repetitive, no? Oh, but He is. So good.) I could have also confessed my attempt to cull through my twitter follower/following lists in an effort to make one a little more manageable and the other free of all spam and marketers. Who knew it would be such an intense exercise? Not only that but I think I ended up with more to follow than I began with! Am I as neurotic a twitter follower as I am a shopper?

Monday
Here I would have told you of my poor sick puppy and our (expensive) trip to the vet. Today I would have updated my report on her condition with the news that I'm not sure she feels any better and another call to the vet may be in order.

If I'd blogged Monday, I might have also written about cooking supper for my son's girlfriend--Pioneer Woman's lasagna, grape salad, and chocolate chip pie. We were supposed to have enjoyed our favorite Rosemary Bread but I would have had to report the first ever fail by my beloved bread machine.

So, there you go, what I might have blogged, had I had the time and inclination to actually blog. And if I were to post a real post today perhaps I would express gratitude for you, my blog friends and visitors, and wish you all a wonderful Tuesday!

The Way of Remembering

This morning in Bible study we will be discussing Psalm 77. Author Kathleen Nielson has titled this chapter of her Psalms: Songs Along the Way workbook, The Way of Remembering. In this Psalm, the psalmist is miserable, distressed, overwhelmed, and nearly frantic with heartache and trouble. He questions the Lord's grace and doubts His love. In verse 11, however, he determines to remember the deeds of the Lord, to contemplate His all His work and His wonders of old. As he does so, he rejoices in God's might and power and then ends the psalm with exultant confidence in the Lord's provision and guidance:

I will remember the deeds of the LORD;

yes, I will remember your wonders of old.

I will ponder all your work,

and meditate on your mighty deeds.

Your way, O God, is holy.

What god is great like our God?

You are the God who works wonders;

you have made known your might among the peoples.

You with your arm redeemed your people,

the children of Jacob and Joseph. ~Ps. 77:11-15

Persevering in the fight against despair by remembering God's past faithfulness builds our faith and crushes our doubts. How easily I forget the Lord's many works on my behalf! This morning I will ask my fellow Bible students to share some of the mighty deeds He has accomplished for them. We will rejoice together in the faithfulness of our God and humbly acknowledge His power and His sovereignty. We will encourage one another with the truth that God sees, He knows, He acts, and He will indeed be faithful in ways we cannot imagine. His way is holy; what god is so great like our God?

As I contemplate the way of remembering, I offer to you some of the countless wonders the Lord has done in me and in my life:

• He gave me a wonderful, amazing husband, a Georgia boy just as my mom prayed for, a good man, a godly man who loves me with an unwavering tenacity and serves the Lord Jesus with humble integrity
• He gave me four wonderful, beautiful children and fills my lack as a mother with much, much grace
• He led me to a ladies' Bible study when I had never, no ever participated in anything similar, and He rocked my world with the realization that the Bible could be studied and known
• He prompted a friend to encourage me to begin a Bible study group on my own
• He brought me (us) through the heartbreak and grief of a church split, only to show us He is able to do more than we can ask or imagine
• He has granted me a group of friends and sisters in the Lord who encourage me and love me and sharpen me
• He has been kind to me in bringing conviction and exposing my sin and reminding me of how desperately I need the gospel daily, hourly, minute by minute
• He reached down and in tender condescension answered the desperate longings of a little girl horrified by her sin and wanting so desperately to belong to Him

Grace, grace, God's grace. Blessings all mine with ten thousand beside. Miracles every one of them--why? Because I am wretched and sinful, undeserving of anything but death. How can He bless me so? I am overwhelmed by His goodness to me. I was dead in my sin and transgressions yet God because of His great love saved me and blessed me with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound!

For the past three weeks, we at my church have heard the joyful testimonies of prospective members. How exciting! And so encouraging! I can't help it--I have tears in my eyes every time, this past Sunday even more so. How I love to hear others tell the story. How my faith is built and my courage kindled. How much cause I have to rejoice in the goodness and grace of my Savior!

What wonders has the Lord done on your behalf? Tell us so that we too may set our hope in God, the only One worthy! He is so good, glory to His name!

On Bible study, part 3

A couple of weeks ago I began a series of posts outlining four primary objectives we seek to emphasize in our particular Bible study group. Having a clear vision of what we want to be about and what will motivate our study of God's Word provides focus and helps us keep the main thing the main thing. As I've told you in the previous two posts in this series, I've borrowed from Susan Hunt's list of foundational principles of ministry to women as described in Women's Ministry in the Local Church. I've adapted her list somewhat and I'm grateful for her commitment to Scripture and to the local church.

The first three foundations were the Gospel, Truth, and Sound Doctrine (all linked to the previous posts in this series). All three are rooted in the authority of Scripture, as is the fourth motivation I will discuss today. In fact, we could say that ultimately we have one primary objective: to know and study God's Word, period. From God's Word we marvel in the glory of the Gospel; through Scripture we understand the truth and learn sound doctrine. In other words, all four of the motivations I am listing are borne out of and sustained by the diligent and careful study of Scripture.

You may think that an obvious point. I mean, hello? we are a Bible study group; what else would we be about? Perhaps I am being too careful here but the fact is I am both saddened and terrified by the subtle tendency I observe in our current Christian culture--with its plethora of Bible studies and tools and numerous other resources--to find ourselves studying the study rather than studying the Bible. Or, worse yet, being enamored with the Bible teacher over and above the Word he/she teaches, which seems to be particularly tempting given the many video studies currently available, what with their professional production quality and gifted communicators. Do not hear me say it is the fault of the authors, the production team or the video teacher. It is within us, in our flesh, to exchange the truth of God's word for the lesser. And it is precisely because of this tendency within me that I am so careful.

So, as I facilitate our study, I will do all I can to point us to the study of God's Word. I will read and apply myself to the wise instruction of the author of whatever workbook or study guide we are using but even as I do so I will hold it up to the Truth of Scripture. I will seek after the one thing of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord as I study. I will ask the Lord to grant me a greater hunger for His Word, that it will become as necessary to me as food and water and more precious to me than thousands of pieces of gold and silver (Ps. 119:72). May He open our eyes so we may see wonderful things in His Word!

So, that being said, let us turn to our fourth foundation:

FOUNDATIONS FOR BIBLE STUDY

1. The Gospel

2. Truth

3. Sound Doctrine

4. Community

Our group is a diverse one, comprised of ladies from two different churches and a variety of ages, backgrounds and stages of life. I love it (love it!) but because we are so eclectic, I try to be intentional about developing a sense of community. In our first meeting together, as we went around the room to introduce ourselves, we also told one good thing and one bad thing that had happened to us the week before. Each week we do some similar exercise, be it sharing something we learned or a list of favorite things. It's no doubt silly but I think it also important. I like knowing which Bible study member's daughter got engaged at the top of Sears tower; we also learn about our individual struggles and joys, the sorts of things we might not ordinarily share with a group of ladies we don't know very well.

Why is this important enough to be included alongside the seemingly weightier elements like doctrine and truth? Because sound doctrine on its own, apart from relationships that reflect that doctrine, becomes academic. In that case, knowledge for knowledge's sake would become primary. As we asserted before, sound doctrine is critical; so is the formation of relationships that reflect the application of that doctrine in real, ordinary, often messy, lives. It's a balance, to be sure. We could easily fall into the trap of making all we do under the guise of Bible study purely relational; then of course we have not truly had Bible study at all.

In Titus 2, Paul instructs the older women to "teach what is good, and so train the younger women..." (v. 3-4). As we said before, our intent is not to debate who among us is older nor to be offended at Paul's use of the term; rather, we see that it is the Lord's plan that women engage with other women, teaching what is good. And what is good? Sound doctrine (Titus 2:1). How is it taught? In the context of relationships. We seek a similar framework in our little group: women discipling and encouraging other women by sharing their hearts and lives. We love the Lord Jesus; we rejoice in the glorious gospel of grace; we desire the glory of God in all things; we seek the knowledge of the Lord through the study of His Word; we want His Word to radically transform our real, ordinary lives. The application of these truths is what we seek to share as we develop a sense of community. It's discipleship and as such it's an important element of our study group.

I'd love to know what you think. By no means do we consider our list exhaustive or even the best possible summary of what ladies' Bible study can and ought to be about. Do you have a similar vision? What principles guide and motivate your group?

Status Report, April

Sitting...on my back porch.

Drinking...coffee, black. Guzzling is more like it. I'm about to put on a second pot; it's that kind of morning already.

Watching...the puppy destroy one of her toys. She is making a mess!

Thinking...I should be working on a grocery list so as to get to the store and back before the forecasted storms hit.

Procrastinating...as is usual.

Moving...rather slowly this morning.

Pondering...the sovereignty of God and how it is both a mystery and a comfort. I don't understand it but I rest and rejoice in it!

Remembering...the tornado that hit our town almost a year ago

Experiencing...a burst of gardening fervor. I hung ferns on my front porch and even planted some flowers, both of which are highly unusual for me, at least in recent years.

Loving...my church. Last night we grilled hamburgers and hot dogs and enjoyed dinner on the grounds right there in our parking lot. We had a great time! I so love the fellowship and unity we enjoy as sisters and brothers bound together by covenant and our love for our Savior. And we are continuing to welcome new members; the Lord is so good!

Wondering...what boldness would look like in my very ordinary, middle class, small town, stay at home mom life. What does it mean, in my context, to live a life of reckless, abandoned faith?

Contemplating...painting my kitchen cabinets. White? Black? Glaze? Somebody stop me! I haven't and I probably shouldn't but I can't stop speculating. Am I crazy? Yes, yes, I am.

Putting...on that second pot of coffee now...