I'm about to load up the back of my suburban with four or five bags of clothes, shoes, and various other items no longer wanted or needed, the result of two days' labor to declutter and clean out my closet. This will be my third donation load (maybe more) to our local Downtown Rescue Center thrift store in the past few weeks. I don't know if it's spring cleaning or what but I do know this: such prolonged efforts at organization are quite unlike my usual MO. It's a lot of work, no doubt about it, but it feels good to systematically make my way through the house clearing out and cleaning up, throwing away and giving away, doing what I can, as I can. It's also proven to be a long, drawn out process; six people accumulate a lot of stuff!
Simplify. Streamline. Slowly. Steadily. This is my goal. Not my reality, not yet.
Even as I type this, there is dog hair covering the floor, dirty dishes filling the sink, laundry begging to be folded, and dust blanketing nearly everything.
Simple does not equal perfect.
In my nearly two decades as housekeeper and home manager, I have struggled to reconcile the way things are and the way I fear things ought to be. I think I've told you before that few things make me hate myself like cleaning house. While not unsanitary neither is my house immaculate. Never has been, never will be. Some can and do (and love) such a standard. Me, I go for lived in. Hopefully a little more organized than has been my standard in the past but lived in all the same.
I wrote those words several weeks ago. Despite all those highfalutin' goals of simplifying and streamlining, life got pretty complicated pretty quickly. And doesn't it always? Now as I type not only am I once again surrounded by the aforementioned dog hair, dishes, laundry, and dust, but my remaining projects of cleaning up and clearing out are just that: remaining, existing only as items on a post-it note, thwarted by such complicating factors as tornadoes and subsequent power outages, end-of-the-school-year events and obligations, and various other real life responsibilities.
It'll keep, is what I would say to you if you were lamenting to me the list of things you'd like to do but can't because of more pressing and present matters. That is the problem, though, is it not? That it does keep when I'd rather it went somewhere, anywhere, so that I needn't worry over it any longer.
But I'm learning--oh, so slowly, over two decades now and counting--that there is grace. Grace for the things I can do, grace for the things I can't. One day at a time, seeking this day's daily bread. Perhaps accomplishing much today, perhaps not so much tomorrow. Numbering my days, seeking a heart of wisdom. Rejecting idleness, resting in His sufficiency in my inadequacy. Making the most of my time, in gratitude and humility, choosing to find joy not in crossing items off my to-do list but in the gracious goodness of the Lord, in His abundant blessings to me, those blessings of life and family, grace and mercy. This is the day the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad, even with piles of clothes stashed under the bed awaiting sorting and organizing, trim that needs painting, and clutter languishing in my junk drawers...
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Monday Mish Mash
My husband had to wake me up this morning, a rare occurrence to be sure. I was deep in sleep, too, in the middle of a strange dream about dogs and a fancy banquet. Because of such slothfulness--sleeping in til 6:30!!!--my brain (not to mention the rest of me) is moving quite slowly today. In fact, I'm thinking it will be not merely a two-pot sort of day, but a one-cup-right-after-another sort of day. Thanks to my beloved Keurig, I can have one of those kinds of days with ease!
I confess my slowness to you as a disclaimer in regard to the sort of post I am able to write (or, not) under such conditions. Why I feel the need to check in with a nothing sort of post is bewildering to me; perhaps it encourages other Monday strugglers out there (anyone? anyone?). Regardless, here's a mish mash of my thoughts and events this week...
I am on Week 2 of the Partnering to Remember Scripture memory plan whereby I am memorizing the book of Philippians. I am discovering the older one is, the more difficult memorization can be. It is, in fact, a humbling experience as I struggle not only remembering specific phrases but also fighting feeling just plain dumb.
It is a chilly day today, highs not expected to reach 60, 40's tonight. I think I'm going to wear boots today and I'm so excited!
My prayer list contains so many with such big needs. Friends with job loss, friends with a struggling marriage, friends with a rebellious child, friends with cancer, friends on the mission field. Over and over I pray: Lord, have mercy...Lord, be good and be gracious, in Your mercy be sufficient...Lord, have mercy...
In a burst of pseudo-craftiness I painted a chalkboard over the rack where the boys hang their backpacks. The first thing I wrote on it? Psalm 133:1. Yes, Lord, let it be. This mama needs to be so. It is pleasant and good for my peace of mind when brothers dwell in unity. Amen.
The school year is winding down which means our year of "last's" is just beginning. My oldest son is currently in the middle of his last spring football training. His last spring game is Saturday. And on and on it goes. It's just plain weird. I've already warned his brothers that for this one year, his "last" will most likely preclude whatever it is they may have going on that conflicts. Is that wrong?
Well, I must now cast aside my slothful tendencies and get up and go do something slightly more productive, like make a grocery list or take the dog for a (S L O W) walk around the block. Perhaps my next post will be less mish mash and more substance!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
A post I once thought I'd never write
It's a post about a dog.
I've never been what you would describe as a dog lover. My mom, however, is, and as such always had a canine companion of varying breeds by her side, from cocker spaniel to lab to an indeterminate mix. Though there was always a dog in our home, I never really cared much for them. I merely tolerated their presence, much preferring the company of my cat.
As newlyweds, my husband and I did as many young couples do: we acquired a pet to care for, first a cat then a dog. Even then my affection for the dog could best be described as tolerance; she was certainly more my husband's dog than mine. A good dog, great with the babies, but just a dog.
After a couple of years, we acquired another dog and then eventually sold them both when we realized what sorry dog parents we were. In our defense, at the time we had a five year old, a four year old, a three year old and a newborn. I guess you could say we were otherwise engaged and the dogs were at the bottom of the priority list. Way at the bottom, that plus my toddlers' shoes seemed to be magnets for all piles of doggie you-know-what, well, it was best for us all to find them another home.
So when a puppy entered our lives some eleven years later it was something of a spontaneous decision on our part. Our friends had discovered a box of puppies abandoned on the side of the road, my husband and boys went to see them, and suddenly we were dog parents once again. My only caveat to another round of dog ownership was that I not be the one to deal with pee and poop. I figured after four children I'd served my time with any and all bodily discharges. Yes and amen.
As it turned out, I became the primary caretaker and though I was unprepared for the all consuming nature of puppy care, it made sense that I be the one to take her out in the middle of the night, for example, since of all of us, my schedule during the day is the most flexible. And yes, I did deal in both poop and pee.
And yet Darcy the puppy and I became friends and companions.
I didn't realize just how much I liked and enjoyed her company until a couple of weeks ago when she became very sick. When the vet told me he wasn't sure she would recover, I grieved.
She nearly died during emergency surgery. Her making it through the night post surgery was touch and go. I dreaded calling that next morning because I was afraid of the bad news. To our relief, there was none. Instead she made a remarkable recovery and she was able to come home to us after a six day stay in the vet's care.
She's been saved twice, once from the side of the road and now again through the miracle of veterinary medical practice.
I am glad.
I've never been what you would describe as a dog lover. My mom, however, is, and as such always had a canine companion of varying breeds by her side, from cocker spaniel to lab to an indeterminate mix. Though there was always a dog in our home, I never really cared much for them. I merely tolerated their presence, much preferring the company of my cat.
As newlyweds, my husband and I did as many young couples do: we acquired a pet to care for, first a cat then a dog. Even then my affection for the dog could best be described as tolerance; she was certainly more my husband's dog than mine. A good dog, great with the babies, but just a dog.
After a couple of years, we acquired another dog and then eventually sold them both when we realized what sorry dog parents we were. In our defense, at the time we had a five year old, a four year old, a three year old and a newborn. I guess you could say we were otherwise engaged and the dogs were at the bottom of the priority list. Way at the bottom, that plus my toddlers' shoes seemed to be magnets for all piles of doggie you-know-what, well, it was best for us all to find them another home.
So when a puppy entered our lives some eleven years later it was something of a spontaneous decision on our part. Our friends had discovered a box of puppies abandoned on the side of the road, my husband and boys went to see them, and suddenly we were dog parents once again. My only caveat to another round of dog ownership was that I not be the one to deal with pee and poop. I figured after four children I'd served my time with any and all bodily discharges. Yes and amen.
As it turned out, I became the primary caretaker and though I was unprepared for the all consuming nature of puppy care, it made sense that I be the one to take her out in the middle of the night, for example, since of all of us, my schedule during the day is the most flexible. And yes, I did deal in both poop and pee.
And yet Darcy the puppy and I became friends and companions.
I didn't realize just how much I liked and enjoyed her company until a couple of weeks ago when she became very sick. When the vet told me he wasn't sure she would recover, I grieved.
She nearly died during emergency surgery. Her making it through the night post surgery was touch and go. I dreaded calling that next morning because I was afraid of the bad news. To our relief, there was none. Instead she made a remarkable recovery and she was able to come home to us after a six day stay in the vet's care.
She's been saved twice, once from the side of the road and now again through the miracle of veterinary medical practice.
I am glad.
Monday, May 09, 2011
What have I missed?
At last log in, the number of unread posts in my Google reader had accumulated to well over one thousand. Though I haven't done an official tally I'm thinking the number is closer to half that again. Yes, 1500 of your posts, no doubt full of wisdom and encouragement, languishing in perpetuity, remaining unread in my Google reader.
I know I need to just click the "Mark all as read" link. I will, though I'm having a hard time pulling the trigger, in a matter of speaking. What will I miss? What have I missed?
So here's a shout out to all my fellow bloggers: Can you help a girl out? What's been going on out there in blogland? What have you been writing about over on your site? Any interesting discussions or fun ideas? What sorts of posts have I missed by not visiting your blog? Do you have a post or two or three that you think I'd like reading? Post a comment, link up, help me out--inquiring minds want to know!
And to the blog readers out there: as you've clicked and read your way through various blogs and readers, have you discovered any must read posts? Post a link in the comments and let us know!
Thanks, friends. I'm looking forward to your help as I make my way to a clear conscience and an empty reader cache. :)
I know I need to just click the "Mark all as read" link. I will, though I'm having a hard time pulling the trigger, in a matter of speaking. What will I miss? What have I missed?
So here's a shout out to all my fellow bloggers: Can you help a girl out? What's been going on out there in blogland? What have you been writing about over on your site? Any interesting discussions or fun ideas? What sorts of posts have I missed by not visiting your blog? Do you have a post or two or three that you think I'd like reading? Post a comment, link up, help me out--inquiring minds want to know!
And to the blog readers out there: as you've clicked and read your way through various blogs and readers, have you discovered any must read posts? Post a link in the comments and let us know!
Thanks, friends. I'm looking forward to your help as I make my way to a clear conscience and an empty reader cache. :)
Friday, May 06, 2011
Friday's Fave Five
My five favorites of the week:
1. Visiting family. We spent the weekend with my husband's family in addition to a night spent at my sister's. It was so much fun seeing my niece and nephew; we just don't see them often enough! Oh, and finding refuge during the power outage was a definite bonus.
2. The return of our electricity Sunday morning! It's sad, really, how dependent we are on all the modern amenities but it sure was nice to know we could turn on lights and wash clothes.
3. The Dashwood Sisters Tell All. I read this novel rather quickly--in a couple of days max--during our time without electricity. I liked Beth Pattillo's first two Austen-based novels and I liked this one as well: fun, light, easy reads.
4. The BBC production of Our Mutual Friend on DVD. I just finished the novel last week so I'm looking forward to watching this adaptation and I'm glad my friend had a copy for me to borrow. I've only watched the first hour or so but so far, so good. I think I'll like it a lot.
5. My new Keurig. Happy Mother's Day to me! I'm already enjoying the convenience of brewing just one quick cup in the evenings, for example, when I don't really need or want to brew anymore than the single cup. I love it! Last night I was perusing all the many options for K-cups; who can decide? Anyone else have a Keurig? What kind of coffee do you recommend?
So, there you go. Five favorites of the week. Other favorites include lunch with a friend and coffee (and a long conversation) with another friend. Friends are definitely my favorite! What about you? You can link up your favorites at Susanne's as well as check out others' lists.
Postscript: I will admit to feeling slightly ridiculous posting such frivolous favorites when so many in my state have lost so much. This morning's paper had the headline "Funeral for Five." I cannot imagine. So even as I make a list of things I've enjoyed this week, I cannot help but think of those suffering under the weight of loss and devastation who could not name even one favorite thing of this past week, much less five. May the Lord have mercy. I don't quite know how else to pray. Mercy, grace, provision, a good nights' sleep, help, resources: may the Lord grant all this and more to those affected. I pray too for those involved in disaster relief, my parents included in that number; may the Lord grant them energy and efficiency as they work and clean up and serve food and distribute supplies and hold babies. May they be ambassadors for Christ, proclaiming the hope of gospel as they offer a cup of cold water in His name.
Happy Friday, friends. May we rest in the sovereign goodness of our Lord God this week.
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Open my eyes that I may see...
In Bible study this week, we will be discussing Psalm 119, that longest chapter of the Bible that extols the benefits and blessings of knowing and obeying and delighting in the Word of God. In my preparation, I've been greatly encouraged by reading a couple of John Piper's sermons on the psalm, most specifically verse 18:
In his sermon Open My Eyes that I May See, Piper reminds us of three wonderful truths gleaned from this verse:
1. There are wonderful things in the Word of God, things that transform us and sustain us and empower us and compel us. Things sufficient for life and godliness and for victory over sin. There in His Word we the glory and beauty and surpassing greatness of God and His Son.
2. We cannot see these wonderful things without God's supernatural enabling. I am guilty and fallen and corrupt and ignorant and blind apart from God's saving, illuminating work. Piper says "The point of teaching this and knowing this is to make us desperate for God and hungry for God, and to set us to pleading and crying out to God for his help in reading the Bible." Oh, yes, I am desperate. How I need Him.
3. We must pray and ask God to open our eyes to see. Since we cannot see without His gracious illumination, we must ask Him for it!
So, then, we desperately need His Spirit to teach us and to help us in our weakness, opening our eyes so that we may see the glorious truths of His Word. Piper goes on to say, "if we would stay alive in God and be real and authentic and intense in our love for him, we must be desperate to have this enabling every day. So pray, pray, pray." If we would see Christ, we must pray. Yet where do we look to see Him? In the Bible. Where is Christ revealed? In the Word of God. We do not seek the kind of vision only God grants in order to gain some new sort of revelation. We need only to look into God's living Word, the Bible. We need eyes to see what God has revealed to us in His Word!
Borrowing Piper's points once more, this from his follow up sermon Wonderful Things from Your Word, if we would press on to the deeper things of the Lord, earnestly seeking Him with a wholehearted determination and devotion, we must not only pray, but pray and read the Word, pray and study, pray and think, and pray and ransack. Proverbs 2:1-6 states:
I love Piper's point that if there are hidden treasures, act like it! Seek the knowledge of the Lord with a singleminded intensity! Let us ransack His Word, inclining our hearts, crying out, seeking, searching, confident in His promise that those who seek Him will surely find Him. What treasure!
True confessions: I want to be a better student of God's Word. I want that kind of ransacking, passionate pursuit. I want to memorize and meditate and know and read and study and delight in the Word of God. I love God's Word, I do; I want to love it more. I want Psalm 119 to be my prayer and my testimony. For quite some time, I've wanted to be more disciplined in Scripture memorization, specifically in terms of memorizing longer passages of the Bible.
It seems I'm always late to a good bandwagon, but now that all the original participants have completed their Scripture memory journey, I've decided to embark on the Partnering to Remember project, an organized approach to memorizing the entire book of Philippians. Yeah, the whole thing. Want to join me? You can find out more here.
May the Lord grant us a hunger and a thirst for His Word! May we say with confidence: I have stored up your word in my heart that I may not sin against you; in the way of your testimonies I delight as much as in all riches! You, O Lord, are the treasure of my life! Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your Word!
Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law
In his sermon Open My Eyes that I May See, Piper reminds us of three wonderful truths gleaned from this verse:
1. There are wonderful things in the Word of God, things that transform us and sustain us and empower us and compel us. Things sufficient for life and godliness and for victory over sin. There in His Word we the glory and beauty and surpassing greatness of God and His Son.
2. We cannot see these wonderful things without God's supernatural enabling. I am guilty and fallen and corrupt and ignorant and blind apart from God's saving, illuminating work. Piper says "The point of teaching this and knowing this is to make us desperate for God and hungry for God, and to set us to pleading and crying out to God for his help in reading the Bible." Oh, yes, I am desperate. How I need Him.
3. We must pray and ask God to open our eyes to see. Since we cannot see without His gracious illumination, we must ask Him for it!
So, then, we desperately need His Spirit to teach us and to help us in our weakness, opening our eyes so that we may see the glorious truths of His Word. Piper goes on to say, "if we would stay alive in God and be real and authentic and intense in our love for him, we must be desperate to have this enabling every day. So pray, pray, pray." If we would see Christ, we must pray. Yet where do we look to see Him? In the Bible. Where is Christ revealed? In the Word of God. We do not seek the kind of vision only God grants in order to gain some new sort of revelation. We need only to look into God's living Word, the Bible. We need eyes to see what God has revealed to us in His Word!
Borrowing Piper's points once more, this from his follow up sermon Wonderful Things from Your Word, if we would press on to the deeper things of the Lord, earnestly seeking Him with a wholehearted determination and devotion, we must not only pray, but pray and read the Word, pray and study, pray and think, and pray and ransack. Proverbs 2:1-6 states:
My son, if you receive my words
and treasure up my commandments with you,
making your ear attentive to wisdom
and inclining your heart to understanding;
yes, if you call out for insight
and raise your voice for understanding,
if you seek it like silver
and search for it as for hidden treasures,
then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.
For the Lord gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding
I love Piper's point that if there are hidden treasures, act like it! Seek the knowledge of the Lord with a singleminded intensity! Let us ransack His Word, inclining our hearts, crying out, seeking, searching, confident in His promise that those who seek Him will surely find Him. What treasure!
True confessions: I want to be a better student of God's Word. I want that kind of ransacking, passionate pursuit. I want to memorize and meditate and know and read and study and delight in the Word of God. I love God's Word, I do; I want to love it more. I want Psalm 119 to be my prayer and my testimony. For quite some time, I've wanted to be more disciplined in Scripture memorization, specifically in terms of memorizing longer passages of the Bible.
It seems I'm always late to a good bandwagon, but now that all the original participants have completed their Scripture memory journey, I've decided to embark on the Partnering to Remember project, an organized approach to memorizing the entire book of Philippians. Yeah, the whole thing. Want to join me? You can find out more here.
May the Lord grant us a hunger and a thirst for His Word! May we say with confidence: I have stored up your word in my heart that I may not sin against you; in the way of your testimonies I delight as much as in all riches! You, O Lord, are the treasure of my life! Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your Word!
Monday, May 02, 2011
Status Report, May
Sitting...on my back porch.
Drinking...the last of the coffee.
Thinking...I may go ahead and put on another pot. Maybe it was the morning or two without power, hence without coffee, that has made my enjoyment of it all the more pronounced. Or maybe it's just Monday after a long weekend and I'm tired; who knows?
Thanking...those of you who checked on us via text message, Twitter, Facebook, and comments here at the blog. For those of you who don't know, I live in Alabama and there are areas of our state suffering greatly in the aftermath of last weeks' deadly tornadoes. We were spared, our only hardship being the loss of electricity for 4 days due to damage at the main power source. My family's personal hardship was minimal as we escaped to my in-law's and my sister's for the weekend. I'm thankful for family!
Grateful...for a roof over my head, smart phones, social media like Facebook and Twitter, car phone chargers, and a grill. My brother in law teased my husband and I for staying glued to our phones; I explained to him that living in a town like ours means there is no major media outlet! If not for the information about local conditions being posted via friends' Facebook statuses we would have no information. Oh, and the coffee my husband made by heating water on the grill? The best cup I ever had! I suppose the possibility of having to do without makes the reality all the better!
Pondering...the mysterious providence of God.
Praying...for my fellow Alabamians. The images from Tuscaloosa and other ravaged areas are horrible and heartbreaking. Jesus is indeed our only hope. May the hope of the gospel grant comfort and peace to those who suffer and grieve!
Wondering...if perhaps I ought to no longer write posts on tornadoes and God's sovereignty. I'm kidding, of course, but again the heartbreaking reality serves as a sobering reminder that the sovereignty of God is sometimes a severe mercy, to borrow Vanauken's book title. So many have lost so much. May the Lord show Himself strong and faithful, a gracious and sovereign God who works all things together for His glory and the ultimate good for those who love Him. Yes, Lord, You are able and You are sufficient...
Drinking...the last of the coffee.
Thinking...I may go ahead and put on another pot. Maybe it was the morning or two without power, hence without coffee, that has made my enjoyment of it all the more pronounced. Or maybe it's just Monday after a long weekend and I'm tired; who knows?
Thanking...those of you who checked on us via text message, Twitter, Facebook, and comments here at the blog. For those of you who don't know, I live in Alabama and there are areas of our state suffering greatly in the aftermath of last weeks' deadly tornadoes. We were spared, our only hardship being the loss of electricity for 4 days due to damage at the main power source. My family's personal hardship was minimal as we escaped to my in-law's and my sister's for the weekend. I'm thankful for family!
Grateful...for a roof over my head, smart phones, social media like Facebook and Twitter, car phone chargers, and a grill. My brother in law teased my husband and I for staying glued to our phones; I explained to him that living in a town like ours means there is no major media outlet! If not for the information about local conditions being posted via friends' Facebook statuses we would have no information. Oh, and the coffee my husband made by heating water on the grill? The best cup I ever had! I suppose the possibility of having to do without makes the reality all the better!
Pondering...the mysterious providence of God.
Praying...for my fellow Alabamians. The images from Tuscaloosa and other ravaged areas are horrible and heartbreaking. Jesus is indeed our only hope. May the hope of the gospel grant comfort and peace to those who suffer and grieve!
Wondering...if perhaps I ought to no longer write posts on tornadoes and God's sovereignty. I'm kidding, of course, but again the heartbreaking reality serves as a sobering reminder that the sovereignty of God is sometimes a severe mercy, to borrow Vanauken's book title. So many have lost so much. May the Lord show Himself strong and faithful, a gracious and sovereign God who works all things together for His glory and the ultimate good for those who love Him. Yes, Lord, You are able and You are sufficient...
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